New, new, new and some old reminders, too

I came to France to experience something new. Well, not new since Europe is really old compared to the "New World" I grew up in, but something different for me. Something that everyone who has an interest to should see and some point in his or her life. I have wanted to see Europe for long. I don't even remember when I realized that there was so much great art, architecture, languages, food, culture and new friends to be had on this continent, but ever since I have wanted to find the right time in my life to explore it and revel in its combination of unique experiences.

This is the last week of class before our first holiday. It seems silly to work for 2 1/2 weeks and then have a break, but with so much difficult paperwork, daily language barrier stresses and so much NEW, I really need the time to do fun things in Europe. I need to be reminded why I am here in the first place and I need some time to just be here without having to be anywhere at any particular time.

Today I faced yet another cultural challenge at work and I'm still not sure where to go with it in my head or in my work. In several social occasions I have learned that Europeans do not give the same reverence to certain racial words as North Americans do. I've met people who think it's OK to say words like "colored" and "nigga" and several other things. Clearly it's not. None of these words are really, really terrible, but they're inappropriate and make me do a double-take when I hear them. I don't like it and I always try to gently explain to foreigners why American history and culture all but requires people to avoid using those words (or at least only use them to illustrate a point) as a way to show respect for a group of people often not respected in the past.

Today I faced another such situation. My favorite teacher at the lycee is doing a section on the Holocaust with her 13 year olds, which is great and they are really into it and learning a lot. However, the French word for jew is the same as the English, but in French it's not a harsh word. Then add the language difficulties and you have young kids saying things like, "the Nazis took their Jews..." etc. Sentences like that sound dehumanizing to an anglophone. As a member of a social minority myself I feel something of a connection to certain persecuted groups. Also, I have been called unkind things and comments directed toward me because I supposedly look Jewish. Silly, I know, but the words hurt even when they don't accurately describe you.

I mentioned my concern to the teacher who said it doesn't matter because in French it's not mean to say "Jews" like that, it's just what they are. I replied that when you speak English it is unkind to say it, so if we're teaching them English we should be careful to explain when words mean something different. The bell sounded then and we had to part ways, but I hope the topic is revisited later so I can explain this to the kids. The text the kids are learning from uses some harsh language in conjunction with the word "Jew," such as "yid" and "Jewboy," so I still think it's worth mentioning. They shouldn't go out into the world with good hearts and good intentions and wind up hurting someone because they don't understand the sub-context of an English word.

Aside from work things are a bit in flux. I found a new apartment with other assistants, which is great, but can't move in until December, which sucks big time because my current place is not as comfortable as I would like. My work schedule is changing too and I am meeting new people and learning new things every day. None of this is bad, just challenging. Plus Leigh lands in the morning, so everything will change soon. I'm so happy she's coming, but it's also more new and more adjusting so it will add to the challenge. All worth it in the end, I'm sure...

The past few days I've been really emotional. I kept thinking it was hormonal, no big deal, it'll pass. Everyone gets blue days every few weeks. Maybe it's the weather since God has decided it's time to remind us that we may live in paradise but he can still keep us indoors and wearing sweaters anytime he likes. It might be that I've been here a month and I'm not really enjoying it like I thought I would- everything is new, everything is difficult, everything requires so much effort and preparation. Then my Canadian counterpart said to me yesterday, "I won't let this country defeat me!" She's completely right, and she's even less emotionally equipped to handle this situation than I am. She's younger and hasn't had to deal with the same stuff I have, so if she can muster the fortitude to get through the day and enjoy it here then I know I can, or at least I know I should quit whining and deal with things.

Then reality hits me from a far away land called Florida. My youngest brother (but he's still my big brother) and his family live in Florida and their youngest child is a 4 year old girl with autism. Recently my brother started blogging about daily challenges and successes his family faces. They're a young, working-class family in a tough situation, but they amaze me on a regular basis. Reading about my brother's daily life caring for his kids and running a household brings me to tears and reminds me how lucky I am and how little my worries matter.

Honestly, I'm always going to stress and worry about things because I can't help myself, but when I remember that my big brother grew up to become a hero and a role model to so many people I shut my lucky, privileged, able-bodied, over-educated mouth really fast. I love my brother and his family so much and I'm so proud of all of them. My brother was a gift to me as a child, as my protector and my closest friend and now he's a gift to me always reminding me how to be strong when things get tough and how to remain thankful for everything that has gone right in my life.

I Love These Things

Snagged from bstellad on livejournal:

1. What is the biggest risk you have taken in the past year?

Moving to France instead of staying in the US and temping/paying my dues until I find a lawyer gig. Moving here was scary, expensive, and completely outside of my career training but I think I will be so glad to have done it in the end. Though at the moment, it's still scary.

2. If you could change one aspect of your physical appearance, what would be it be?

My height. I have an idea that if I were average height it would solve most of my problems. I would be thinner, my clothes would fit, and people would take me more seriously as an adult. Plus I think I'm kind of odd looking being so short with such broad shoulders and I've been told that my being so small and having a "tall person's personality" puts people off sometimes.

3. Least favorite Christmas gift this year.

My family isn't big on gifts, so I usually like mine a lot since they are few and well thought out. I think my worst gift ever was a pair of jeans my mom got me. They were really big, like huge. When I tried them on and they fell down around my ankles with the button still fastened I knew for a fact what my mother thought of me. For some reason I wouldn't let her exchange them, probably because I didn't want her to feel bad about getting me a gift I couldn't use.

4. If you were stuck eating only one food every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Wow, well right now the only food I really get to eat is pasta because it's cheap in France and easy to make in my ghetto kitchen. That's turning out OK, but I really miss protein filled meals. I would probably say a steak dinner because it has a nice flavor and a great variety of nutrients... but bstellad's answer of ice cream is a pretty great option too.

5. What is one stereotype or bias that you are ashamed to admit you still hold?

I have still hold so many stereotypes and biases that I would never admit. I'm a very judgmental person, mostly because I find that a lot of stereotypes prove themselves to be rooted in truth. The important thing is that I do not treat people differently based on my gut reactions when I see them do something stereotypical or to confirm my bias.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

This week was a big mess. I ran around the CIV campus looking for my classrooms frantically because none of the many, many documents I had been given had all the correct room numbers on them. Plus the CIV is set up in a very strange fashion so the halls are numbered based on how high up a hill you have climbed or whether the room is nearish to the library. It really doesn't make a lot of sense.

THEN my Canadian counterpart and I found out our schedules were going to be completely changed because she had been assigned to 3 schools and I was only assigned to the CIV. Now I'm dropping several classes from my original schedule to pick up her priority classes so she can travel to the other schools. I don't know how it came about that there are 4 lycees in the area needing assistants and 2 English assistants available, but I'm only at the CIV and she is at 3 schools. I will never fail to marvel at how little sense this program makes... So anyway, everyone's stress has been mounting and we won't have any definite answers on anything school related until after the le Toussaint break.

Saturday was spent apartment hunting with my Canadian counterpart and the German assistant at the CIV. The Canadian and German have been sharing a studio apartment this month and I have been sequestered to Cap d'Antibes all by lonesome, none of which are great situations and certainly not long-term solutions. We started with a 9am appointment at a great location, but it turned out the couple renting the place wanted two months' rent security, renter's insurance, tons of documents we don't have yet because we haven't gotten our residency permits, and we would have had to buy a bed for the third person. All told we would have had to magically come up with over 3,000 euros within the next two weeks and we were pretty sure these people had no intention of returning our deposit money in April.

After grabbing a 1 meter-long sandwich from a "Snack" in Vieille Antibes, the three of us sat on the wall to the ramparts eating and talking about our situation. By the time we had our 1:30 appointment we had decided to not take the first place but to definitely all live together. The 1:30 appointment included 2 apartments. The first one was near the bars in Vieille Antibes, which is awesome, but was small and didn't have a good layout for 3 people. We were also competing with some party boys who wanted the place so we let them have it. Luckily the second place we were showed was the same price and oh so nice with a modern kitchen, big bathroom, and plenty of space for 3 people to have all the privacy and personal space she needs. It's a bit farther from town, but still much closer than any of us are right now and a comfortable 10-15 minute walk to the bus station.

We were thrilled to find a place and are all so excited to move in. Unfortunately I cannot move in until end of November because I'm paid up at the studio until then, but I think I can handle a few more weeks here knowing that I have something fabulous waiting for me in December. We celebrated by window shopping at a mall near Nice and grabbing some dinner at the asian fast food place in Antibes. It was a pretty expensive day from buying food to bus fares, in all about 20 euro, but it was necessary and included a successful apartment hunt.

Aside from work and apartments, I was invited to attend a "teachers party" on Saturday night, which turned into an awkward and bizarre situation. Basically, a teacher at my school wanted to make the most out of the week her kids were away and throw a wild party. The only problem is that nobody she invited was really wild. The guests included a handful of French teachers from the area, all around the age of 40 and somewhat calmed down, and the English assistants from the schools in and around Antibes. The age difference between the two groups was very noticeable and the fact that the hostess was trying to set everyone up with dates was even more noticeable. After a group of French college students came up to crash the party and all of the French people had the chance to represent their 'hood by proclaiming the area code where they grew up, I was ready to leave. Myself and another assistant dropped heavy hints to our designated driver that we were exhausted from the long day and really wanted to go home. We were luckily on our way home by about midnight.

Sunday was spent cleaning my apartment, cooking a little bit and generally being lazy. Tomorrow is my day off but I have errands at my new French bank and I have to go to Nice to get my birth certificate translated into French- so annoying/expensive! I might make it fun by walking the Promenade d'Anglais and taking pictures if it's sunny. The beaches in Antibes are great, but the water in Nice turns the most fantastic shade of blue.

In other happy news, Leigh lands in Nice on Friday morning!!! Then we travel Italy the following week!!!!

Quick trip to Italy

As posted yesterday, I made a quick trip to Ventimiglia, Italy today for my day off. It was a long day and I successfully got my train tickets for my big trip later this month, so that's a good thing. Sam and I had hoped to see some Roman ruins and other sights, but there was a train strike today so we got to Ventimiglia kind of late in the day and basically had 2 hours to wander around, eat dinner and a gelato, snap a few photos and get right back on the train. I felt terrible that Sam spent her day off running around with me and we missed most of the sights we had hoped to see, but she promised she had a good time and that it was better than staying home and reading all day.

I plan to write a whole bit about the trip, complete with photos, on my website.

Now I'm back in Antibes and pretty much exhausted even though it's only 8:30pm. Tomorrow I have a long morning class, then a 4 hour break, then two evening classes. Starting next week I will be helping Sam and one of our professors put on a play with a younger group. I'm so excited to help because it's based on a great story and the kids are so enthusiastic. I am hoping that positive experience will balance out my other luke warm classes.

Leigh lands in Nice in 8 days!!! I'm so excited to see her and start our European adventure together. We have so many plans of things to do and see. I hope we can afford it all and do not grow weary of living so frugally for a few months. Our first major stop, of course, is a tour through western Italy. At Christmas we plan to visit the Netherlands, Belgium and Paris and maybe even attend a Taize worship in Taize (near Tours). We are also planning to take many day trips to see as much of southern France as possible on our budget. That's a lot of travel and a lot of experience.... here goes nothin'!

First Day Teaching and Italy Tomorrow

Today I taught 3 classes at the CIV and it went pretty well for my first day and almost no preparation. My first class was a prepa class, otherwise described as very motivated students who have just finished lycee and are looking to go on to top professional training after prepa (engineering, chemistry, etc). The class took some time to warm up to me, but eventually a few of the young men had some great questions and asked to discuss some really complicated topics further. My only complaint was that the girls did not seem interested in practicing their English, which will certainly be a problem for them later on in life if they hope to work beyond a small provincial role in their fields. I think I will do a bit of research for next time I have that group to discuss some cultural issues and the US stock exchange (by request, of course!).

My second class were 2e (pronounced "sek-uundz"), or 14 year olds. I had 11 of them to myself for an hour and they gave short presentations describing famous people. They were enthusiastic and dutifully did their work. A few had attitudes and did not listen when I quieted them down so I had to be mean and separate a few in the room or point them out individually. Oh well, I hope they don't hate me but will learn to listen respectfully when their peers speak.

My final class was more of a tutoring session with two voluntary students. One had traveled the US quite a bit and knew enough English to have a simple conversation but the other was either refusing to participate or was far too shy to try to speak. This was frustrating. I think from now on I will bring an article for them to read and then discuss. Maybe having printed words in front of them will be a security blanket and entice them to speak more.

Tonight I attended a small dinner party near the CIV campus at the home of one of the professors I assist. My Canadian counterpart at the CIV and I were both invited, as per the French professor and her Canadian husband's tradition for the English assistants. We were fed a full fledged, home cooked European dinner and it was lovely. Tonight was my first night of not eating either pasta or a sandwich in over a week! By the time we had our tea and apple cake I felt completely spoiled and overwhelmed by the openness and kindness I had experienced this evening.

I have reserved Leigh's and my overnight train itinerary from Ventimiglia to Naples with couchettes. Now I just have to go to Ventimiglia tomorrow to pay for the tickets and pick them up! It seems ridiculous because it IS ridiculous. In short, the website for the Italian railway cannot process US or UK credit cards about 98% of the time. I don't know why and am quite amazed, but the only way around this would be to spend most of my euros in cash on the tickets (which still might not work) or to take the one and a half hour train ride tomorrow and speak with someone at the ticket counter and get the real scoop. I have managed to convince my Canadian counterpart to come with me so we can make a trip of it. Apparently there are Roman ruins in Ventimiglia and some Midivil castle structures as well as a cro-magnum era remains. We shall see.

I will not be seeing Tegan & Sara play in Europe : (

I finally got my work schedule for the school year and it's not too shabby. I work Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays and I teach 12 lessons per week.

However, this schedule makes it impossible for me to see Tegan & Sara play ANY of their shows ANYWHERE in Europe. I guess technically I could spend an arm and a leg flying to the city of venue, getting a hotel, etc and get back in time for my next work day but let's be honest- I don't make much money. My original plan was to see them in Berlin and stay with a friend from high school. That was all very doable.

Now the only shows I could afford to travel to/stay overnight occur mid-week, so that cuts into my work schedule and the weekend shows are in cities that are rather expensive to fly to or would take 20+ hours to travel to by train.

It's just my bad luck that they're all over Europe for a whole month and during that month I have NO SCHOOL BREAKS and most of their gigs are mid-week. WTF? It's as though I was not meant to see Tegan & Sara play a show this year, even though I've been wanting to see them live for over a year now! Not to mention the fact that T&S are extensively touring Canada this time around. Where did I live up until a week ago? That's right, a whole 1 hour from Toronto and only a couple hours from Ottawa and a day's drive from Montreal.

Ladies, you have failed me in your world tour planning process. Why isn't Nice on your tour list? Or Marseille? Or Venice even, that's only 6-8 hours away. I could do Venice.... Did the -pink-shorts-wearing-sunbathing-in-the-middle-of-autumn-excessive-fun-in-the-sun aspect of the French Riviera scare the Canadian indie rockers away?

Perhaps.

I still love your music though. You can make it up to me by playing a show in Alaska next year : )

week one: fin

Today is day 10 for me in France and also ends my first full week of having to be places and do things concerning my job as a teacher at the lycee. I can't believe how much I have done/has happened in only 10 days. Just getting settled and learning my way around is such a task that I feel like I have been here 2 or 3 weeks already.

Anyway, I think things are going pretty well though some things that have happened just should not have been issues I had to deal with.

Example:

On Wednesday and Thursday of this week I was required to report to teacher training in Nice from 9am to 5 pm (with a 2 hour lunch break, bien sur). My first day in France I had been given the address, name of the professor teaching the training session, and a map of Nice with the place of the training session circled. At orientation the assistants d'anglais were told that the address in our orientation packets was wrong and we would be emailed with updated information soon.

Tuesday night came around and no email from our academie organizer. I called my lycee supervisor, who had heard nothing about the issue at all but instructed me to just go to the address I had and hope for the best. If it was wrong at least I would have an excuse for my lateness.

Wednesday morning I wake up really early and start walking into town around 6:30am. After a 25 minute power walk to the bus station I had a 1 hour bus ride (bad move on my part) I arrive in Nice and start wandering around. About 30+ minutes later I had walked from downtown Nice UPHILL for over a mile and FINALLY found the teacher's training institution where I was supposed to have my class. It was roughly 9:05am. There I am told (in French, because the people at the college only knew the words "hello," "goodbye" and "strike"- I'm not making this up) that the correct location is ALL THE WAY BACK DOWNTOWN, but luckily (I was told, in French) it's downhill so it's not so bad.

*ugh* I walked all the way back down and found the new location. Luckily I ran into my Canadian counterpart who was equally lost and fed up and we decided to take our time and sort of say "fuck it" to the whole affair. We arrived at the training session at 10:30am, an hour and a half late and 4 hours after I had left the house that morning. All of which could have been avoided if the academie coordinator could have been bothered to send around an email with the correct address.

Luckily most people were late for the same reason, but I was still royally pissed off by the whole thing. At a certain point I remembered that some members of my law school class were currently having their services billed out to clients at $150/hour, so my time is worth at least a little something at this point in my life.

Things have been going much better at my actual lycee, which is what counts the most. I have most of my paperwork done for the time being (no small matter if you consider the French system) and I really like all of the English teachers I'm assigned to work with. The lycee itself is one of the best schools in France, so it's really quite an honor to be entrusted with certain aspects of my students' educations. I start teaching actual lessons next week and I also get to help out with a stage production that is being done by an English class I'm not teaching (my Canadian counterpart is teaching that group of students, but I am helping a bit here and there with the play they're doing just for fun).

This afternoon three of my classes were cancelled because the teachers were on an overnight fieldtrip so I headed back toward Antibes, stopping off a few times to search out a bathing suit. I wound up in Juan les Pins, a resort community about a mile or so west of Antibes, and found a designer bathing suit shop having a great sale. It was a tiny shop with a little French lady running it. I picked up a few things and she took them from me gently saying, "no, these are too small. They're Italian sizes, let me help you." Good thing she did too, because I can barely figure out my American size, let alone my French, Italian, etc. The suits were all around 30 euros, which is a lot for me, but they were marked down from 120+ euros so I started calling it an "investment" to rationalize the purchase in my head.

I wound up buying a light green 2 piece suit that covers my prudish self but will still allow me to get tan. Tomorrow I will hit the beach for the first time, lay on the sand with a book, and allow the Mediterranean sun to reflect off my frighteningly pale Alaska/Buffalo skin for a few hours. Hopefully I will brown up soon so the locals will stop asking me if I'm English.

J’ai arrive´e en France

My last post was from my 7 hour layover in Newark three days ago. It’s amazing what can happen in three days. This is a recap of Day 1 in France:

By the time I landed in Paris I was on hour 19 of my never-ending day. My flight from Paris to Nice was not a connecting flight but a flight I had to book separately, so I went through immigration with what seemed like the entire population of North America. When it was finally my turn to have my visa inspected I made sure the officer stamped my passport because I required an immigration stamp for my work papers. After fighting in line for my bags, taking a shuttle to the next terminal and finding my gate, I realized that the stamp the officer used had no ink! This is a problem because the most loved invention in France is the Xerox machine and I knew my stamp would never show up on a copy.

At this point I was tired, dirty, hungry, and a little confused by my new surroundings. I went to the information desk to ask about the stamp, where the kind women there suggested I ask the airport police. I went to the security checkpoint to ask the police where an equally kind woman suggested I go backward through immigration at that terminal and ask the officers there if anything can be done. It seemed like a long shot and I was nervous to un-immigrate and then attempt to re-immigrate in time for my flight that afternoon, but there was no way around needing that stamp. So I started down the stairs, around the corners, through the barriers, etc asking everyone I saw where I should go. Finally I reach immigrate and wave at one of the officers, then explain my situation. He seemed a little unwilling, but after seeing that I was near tears and that I had a valid, recent boarding pass he gave me my much treasured stamp.

I went back upstairs to wait for my flight and decided to lie down on the floor just to rest my eyes. Next thing I know I had been fast asleep for about an hour and my 12:45 flight was being called! The flight to Nice was uneventful and I had no trouble getting from the airport to the dorms to leave my bags at the lyce´e where I’ll be teaching. While riding the bus my very tired eyes strained to comprehend the amount of sunlight all around me, the green of the grass, the blueness of the water, the extreme white of the buildings and the towering palm trees. In spite of all my research and all the pictures I’d seen, this was all a bit surprising.

After checking in at the dorms in Sophia Antipolis, I had to make my way to Nice to stay overnight at the Relais de la Jeunesse Clairvallon with the rest of the assistants for orientation. My stay at the Relais was covered by the school district, so I wasn’t as bothered that I had to pay 10 euro to leave my bags in a room I wouldn’t be using that night. To get to Nice I had to catch a bus from the lycee to the Gare Routiere in Nice and then a local bus to a northern suburb of Nice.

By this time it was 6pm in France and getting a little dusky outside and I was on hour 31 of traveling. Getting to Gare Routiere in Nice was no problem, but after that I had to find bus ligne 22, which turned out to stop two blocks over from the Gare Routiere and only 1 of 5 people I asked had any clue what I was talking about. By the time I got on ligne 22 I was fighting back tears of weariness and frustrating and wondering why I had decided to come here in the first place. Luckily when I arrived at the Relais dinner was about to be served, English was being spoken all around me, and I could finally relax and look forward to a good night’s rest.