The Popsicle Stick

Two days ago my dog swallowed a Popsicle stick. In fact, she ate the entire Popsicle. Whole. She doesn't chew. Ever.

Correction: Leigh fed her the stick.

Actually, what happened was that Leigh was craving chocolate. She found the last fudgesicle in the freezer, but after tasting it her pregnancy hormones told her it had gone bad (really?) so she didn't want it. I said "just give it to Cannelle, she's a big dog and it probably only has a teaspoon of cocoa powder in it." Don't worry, vets have told me bigger dogs can eat chocolate without it bothering them.

So Leigh holds out the Popsicle to Cannelle. Cannelle takes the whole thing, spits it out because it's cold. Leigh reaches for it to keep her from eating the stick, but too late. The stick is in her mouth. I grab her mouth  and open her jaws to pull it out but, again, too late. She's swallowed it. Nowhere to be seen.


Of course, my dog regularly eats eaten entire shoes. The laces, the sole, everything. Luckily she chews those into smaller bites before swallowing them.


We panic. We Google it. A shocking number of hits come up. Apparently this happens a lot. The good news is that most dogs can pass a Popsicle stick without event. The edges are round and the chemicals in it (ew) prevent it from digesting. This keep it from splintering and causing internal bleeding. Fun fact: Popsicle sticks are not visible on an X-Ray, so all you can do is watch out for lethargy, vomiting, and blood in the stool. That's when you know it's time for emergency surgery.

So now Cannelle is eating rice with her kibble to get things moving faster and we are having to inspect her poop for signs of Popsicle stick. Also, every time she sleeps too soundly or looks groggy (which she does a lot because she naps while we're at work) we get nervous. All we can do is wait and hope for the best.

For now she seems completely fine. Her tail wags just as violently, all the time, she barks just as excitedly and loudly when we throw the ball for her, she eats just as ravenously, and she's sleeping the same amount as before.

Clarification from above: Leigh feels really bad about not holding tighter to the Popsicle stick and I think we've both learned an important lesson here: always hold on tight to the non-edible objects near the edible objects.

Also worth noting: every time that dog gets into something or we suspect an injury my heart actually breaks a little bit. I love that mutt so stinkin' much. Now if only she'd stop eating non-edible objects, tearing her nails off by digging up parts of my yard (this would actually solve two problems), and playing in cottonwood flurries (which she's allergic to), then I could sleep soundly knowing she's OK.

Summer Fun- Dipnetting on the Kenai Peninsula

It's summer in Alaska, which is generally magnificent. Leigh claims that this summer has royally sucked weather-wise. I disagree. Every summer everywhere has rainy days and, yes, we've had longer stretches of rainy or cloudy mess than I'd like, but we've also had some really impressive days too. Seeing as how I'm an active girl but not crazy active (I don't go running at 6am or pack multiple activities into a single evening, for example), being blessed with beautiful weather roughly half the time is enough to remind me that it's summer, it's Alaska, and there's fun stuff to do. 

Several weeks ago I learned about dipnetting. In short, if you are an Alaska resident with a fishing license, you can buy a big ass net and stand in the water until a salmon swims into it. Then you can haul that salmon onto the shore, smack its head, gut it, and take it home to eat it. 

The Rules: Head of household gets 25 fish per season, plus 10 additional fish for every other household member. So this year my limit was 35 fish. Next year my household limit will increase to 45 fish because we will have Baby Ruby. Every household member with a fishing license can fish, but every caught fish counts toward your household limit. 

When I learned that fellow Hollins Alum, former NYC roommate, and recent Alaska returnee Lorrie had learned to dipnet earlier this summer, I promptly invited myself on her next outing. Two Fridays ago we packed for an overnight camping trip in Kenai and headed south in Leigh's Jeep. After a beautiful 3 hour drive catching up with each other, we arrived in Kenai to gorgeous evening weather and lots of dipnetters enjoying high tide. 

Typical Dipnet Style:

On Friday evening we each caught three salmon. Not too shabby for two newbies. Around 8pm we admitted that we were both tired and hungry. So we went back to our campsite. Lorrie offered up one of her fillets for dinner. I provided black rice and mixed veggies. It was delicious and paired with malbec. Next thing we know it's 1 AM and we are drunk as skunks, so we collapse in the tent, intending to be up in time for the 7am high tide. 

                                           

My Catch.

That did NOT happen. I rolled over at 7:30 to another amazing, sunny, HOT day and a hellish hangover. We eventually made it back to the river mouth for some more fishing. But the wind was rough and the tide was coming in as actual waves. Controlling our nets was nearly impossible. At one time I'm minding my own business only to look up and see a wave crashing down on me. So I looked at Lorrie and said, "Wanna go find some breakfast?"

Saturday Morning Hangover Cure: Carbonated Sugar

We found a greasy spoon on our way out of town. Midway through a plate of caribou sausage, eggs, and hashbrowns, my headache and tummy ache really start to set in. Blah. So we got some hangover provisions (Extra Strength Tylenol and Sprite) before hitting the road. I got home in the early evening, filleted my catch, and basked in my successful attempt to bring home the protein. 

The next Friday I took the day off from work and drove to Kasilof on my own. I only caught three that day too, but I really enjoyed taking a break from my routine and discovering a new dipnetting area. So this season I brought home a total of 6 salmon, roughly 12-13 pounds of meat. I've already made some great meals (curry, salmon steaks, salmon cakes, BBQ salmon and rice) and am looking forward to having fish for most of the year. Hopefully I'll get better at filleting though.....

Dipnetting is definitely my new thing. Sadly, the season is short and I only discovered it in the last two weeks. Leigh promised to make a gift of my own dipnet gear for next season and we are already planning to spend a few weekends camping and dipnetting earlier in the season. 

Half way there

Today I found out we are having a little girl.... !!!!!!!!

I'm beyond excited, and thrilled, and terrified. Mothering a girl is a special challenge in so many ways. The world is tough on girls, so I have to help make my little girl tough without losing the wonderful things about being a girl. I have to protect her from the scary things in the world and give her confidence to handle any situation. She has to be a little bit smarter, kinder, better, and a little bit more talented than if she were a boy.

But that's OK. She can do it. And the world is slowly changing for girls. Maybe when she's my age we really will rule the world. Or at least we'll just be that much closer to being on equal footing with men.

Now that we know she's a girl and we know her name (Ruby), we can really start planning her room and picking out the things we need for her. Watch out Anchorage, here come two moms-to-be with a long "to do" list!

Big Alaska Weekend

After several weekends in a row of being completely lame, I decided to shake things up a bit. Early last week I started to get fishing envy. A lot of people I knew to varying degrees had been fishing and dipnetting this summer. I love me some salmon and I love not having to pay for it even more! So I started trolling Facebook and my phone contacts looking for someone to take me with them.

Soon enough I had successfully invited myself on college buddy/former roommate Lorrie's overnight trip to Kenai for some dipnetting fun. I also managed to borrow all the necessary gear from other lawyer's and coworkers.   Then I got my fishing license ($24) and found a resident dipnet card (free, after trips to three different outlets!) and packed the Jeep for an overnight camping trip. My excitement was building all week. I even got Friday afternoon off from work. By 1:30 PM I was on the road with Lorrie, chatting away, enjoying a beautiful sunny day.* The drive down was uneventful and pleasant.

We arrived in town not knowing exactly where to go. So after staking out our campsite we drove around a bit looking for a good place to fish. Within about an hour we found ourselves at the mouth of the Kenai River. We parked ($15) and carried our gear to the water. Then we chilled out in the water for about 30 minutes before Lorrie landed her first red. I was so jealous, thinking there's no way a salmon is just going to swim into my stupid net. But soon enough I caught one too.* It was the best feeling! Lorrie coached me through the process of murdering and butchering the poor thing. Over the next 90 minutes we each caught 2 more, cleaned them, and then packed up to make dinner at camp.

The camping was great.* We grilled one of Lorrie's fillets, I made black rice and veggies, and we drank way too much wine. The next morning I woke up with a killer hangover, but we both rallied and tried to catch more fish. The weather wasn't in our favor though (hot and sunny but with too much wind) so we grabbed breakfast and hangover provisions before driving back to Anchorage. I dropped off Lorrie, unloaded the Jeep, and filleted my fish on the back porch (I'm hardly an expert, but I wound up with about 7 lbs of salmon meat!). Then I cooked up the loose meat I scraped off the fish's ribs into a panang curry with black rice for Leigh's and my dinner. Fabulous.

Sunday morning rolled around way too soon. Early last week Leigh and I committed to going packrafting with my work friend and her boyfriend. I was still exhausted from fishing, drinking, and driving a total of 7 hours in less than 24 hours, but not about to waste a chance to try something new (and not willing to flake out on someone who'd put a lot of effort into planning an outing for us). We met up with our friends around 11:30 and hit the water by 1:00 PM. The first half of the trip was technically challenging, just getting used to the boats. Then we ran into a serious construction area and decided to walk around it and put-in down river. While climbing out of the water to walk downstream both of our friends were attacked by hornets! Once that trauma passed, a young moose wandered into our area and we found bear scat all over the trail. So basically it was a stressful 45 minutes or so.

We worked our way past the construction area with our gear and put in about a 1/2 mile down river. After that the paddling was technical (dodging fallen trees and rocks) but much easier and a lot more fun.* After about 3 hours of constant exercise and stress, Leigh started to fade a bit at this point and said she was extremely cold (which was scary considering her pregnancy), but she rallied and we got safely to our car at the take-out. At the time I was pretty stressed out and worried about Leigh, but looking back I'm really glad I paddled Campbell Creek and tried out packrafting. It was great exercise and fun to spend time with our friends and nobody was [permanently] injured. Needless to say, I'm completely exhausted today.

In other news, we're having homemade, fresh caught salmon cakes for dinner!

* Sorry, no pictures. I am the genius who took my cell phone packrafting only to have it swim in a puddle in the floor of my boat all afternoon. Leigh's phone kept mine company, so we're both without phones. I'm so mad at myself!

Letter to My Teenage Self

Sometimes the bloggers I follow will write these letters. They're usually from women, probably because life is supremely difficult for teenage girls and women tend to realize how much they wish they'd known certain things when they were young. Anyway, I've been thinking about writing one for a while, so here's mine:

Dear Teenage Emily,

I know things started getting tough for you when you turned 13: our parents got divorced, our body started developing at a ridiculous rate, we stopped eating for a while, and then our mother moved us to another part of the state to live with her boyfriend who didn't want us around. All of those things sucked, but I have to be honest and tell you that it's only going to get worse for a while. Hang in there, it'll start to get better when you're 19.

The truth is that our parents getting divorced was a good thing and long overdue. Our dad was miserable. Our mom didn't love her family and wanted out, we were just too young to understand that sometimes you have to destroy something to save its best components. You'll eventually learn that our mom is very emotionally unstable, so all those awful things she says and does to us are not your fault. Other people notice it too, but it's too hard for them to say or do anything to help. The sad truth is that our limited, selfish mother will only teach us two things in life: how to be independent (because she was never there for us) and how not to treat people, especially your own kids. Just hang on tight till you get out of there and then never look back. And stick to our dad as much as you can because he's a good one.

We were cursed with a weird figure: very short, big boobs, a stalky build, and a round face. The best thing you can do for yourself is get a breast reduction (which we do at age 20, do it sooner, trust me) and learn about nutrition and exercise. I know our mom spends a lot of time putting us down for being chubby, but that's not entirely our fault either: turns out we can't properly metabolize sugar, white flour, cholesterol, and other refined foods. We don't' learn this till we're 26. So we tend to get fat easily and stay that way. Learn to eat right and exercise a ton and you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Also, when you first go to college watch your weight carefully. That turned out to be our fattest few years and they're still haunting us today. Maybe giving you a forewarning will keep us from having body dismorphia into our late 20's. Maybe not, but it's always best to try to be healthy.

Just a few tips to help you have a more satisfying adolescents: Don't follow Leigh to Longwood. I know you feel weird living with someone else's family because our mom moved away without us and I know it's really hard trying to live with our dad again after so many years apart, but stick it out and get that advanced diploma. Leigh is a good one, she'll wait for you to finish high school and she'll support your dreams throughout college and forevermore.

Graduate with your class (I know it sounds lame, but you'll appreciate it later) and just go straight to Hollins because you'll love it there and it will be the best thing you've ever done for yourself. Minor in a foreign language. Study abroad and say fuck it about the money because our generation is going to drown in student debt no matter what we do to pinch pennies in college. After college, DO NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL. You're better off joining the Peace Corps or traveling as an ESL teacher for a few years or working for a non-profit doing something you love. You don't know this yet, but these things make us happy and will make us the person we really want to be. Law school won't make us happy, will put us in debt, and will ultimately disappoint us because it WILL NOT lead to a fat paycheck or even a guaranteed exciting career. If you must, go to law school later or, better yet, go to grad school in Europe where it's cheaper and we can learn other soft skills that will lead to better job prospects, in the US or abroad.

No matter what you do, hang onto Leigh. You don't know this yet but she's our best friend and will be the rock we lean on for the rest of our life. She's the one who makes us feel normal and extraordinary all at the same time. She will support our dreams, even the stupid ones, and will follow us anywhere we lead her just to see us happy. So even though things are going to be really hard sometimes (or terrible or hopeless or desperate), keep that relationship strong and you will make it to the other side a better person and you will have someone who appreciates everything you've been through because she was right there beside you the whole time.

Here's the bottom line: we are smart, resourceful, and sincere; and we dream big and make things happen for ourselves. Most of all, we are loved. You'll find later that we actually make friends pretty easily because, while we are busy feeling a little insecure and ordinary compared to the amazing people we meet, those amazing people are excited to hear our stories and get to know us better. Just keep doing your thing and you will be just fine.

Much Love,
27-Year-Old Emily

PS: When you and Leigh are in Merida, Mexico for Christmas in 2006, DO NOT follow that nice man to his family's crafts shop to buy a hammock. I know you're bad at math, but 2400 pesos is $240 and you DO NOT need a $240 hammock no matter how pretty or sturdy it is. JUST WALK AWAY. 

Looking Forward in "Maybes"

My job search hasn't budged in weeks. It got really exciting there for about 3 weeks, then all went quiet. Leigh is doing her very best to keep my spirits up. Every day I'm resigning myself to more possible truths about my life in 7 weeks, when my clerkship officially ends: 1) I will probably be unemployed, 2) it might be for a while, it might not be for too long, 3) money will be tight, but I'll do my best to keep us afloat, and 4) it's not the end of the world. That last one is the hardest to remind myself of, but it's true, and what's even more true is that I've been really lucky so far when compared to a lot of other professionals my age.

Since I'm semi-obsessed with the Foreign Service, I tend to read a lot of FSO blogs and articles. There's a discussion going on right now about "having it all" and being a woman in a high powered position or government service.  The first article was written by a Princeton professor who worked at a high level in the State Department for a while and found it impossible to be a "very important person" and have kids and a husband who works in another city. My reaction was something along the lines of "of course that was hard and of course some aspects of her life started to deteriorate!" But I'm not going to judge the author. It's her life and she should try to achieve as many of her dreams as possible. In that vein, today I read the response article in The Atlantic, which basically said we have to determine what "having it all" means to us and then "own" our choices. There's also a great blog post I read today that points out that all of our choices mean compromising something, but that's OK too. 

These ideas get me thinking about a lot of things: my career prospects and dreams, my growing family, and generally what's important to me. I want it all, but my version of "ALL" is unique to me and my family. We want a couple of kids, jobs we enjoy for the most part, and the chance to have a lot of unique experiences together (i.e. travel a lot). For more practical purposes, we want to pay off our debt (mostly student loans), build our savings, and live simply. As you can see, for us having it all is very, very different than being everyone's boss, sending our kids to Harvard, and escaping to a million dollar beach house on weekends. 

In a perfect world this would mean I would find a great job in the next six weeks, work hard and become excellent at what I do, then reassess based on the opportunities that come my way. At that point we'd have two kids and Leigh could choose to stay home or continue working. We would have enough money to live comfortably and save for retirement and enough time off from work for family time and travel. It sounds modest, but the truth is that this is a pretty tall order for our generation. We're lucky to have a decent job, let alone build savings or pay off debt. Those of us who are traveling a lot or having other unique experiences are either in school, taking low-paying contract jobs, or living off our parents. Sad, but true. 

I just hope that my decision to move my little family to Alaska to start our careers in a not dying economy turns out to be a good choice. To achieve that all I need is an opportunity- a good job that pays well and is permanent. After that, the "having it all" part is up to me and I'm up for the challenge.

Unemployment

I've never been unemployed. My first year of law school I chose to not work because I'd heard my classes and the new law student lifestyle would be very challenging. I'd heard right and by my second year I'd settled into school and found a part-time job that I kept until graduation.

After law school I worked my ass off to get a judicial clerkship in Alaska. As a newly licensed attorney, it was the best way to break into a new jurisdiction. Clerking for one year, not to mention two years (like I did), pretty much guarantees a permanent job. So I'm more than a little bit miffed that my fellow law clerks and I are facing unemployment. In fact, I only know of one law clerk who has a job lined up in September. One. That means, barring some miracle in the next three months, as many as 30 young lawyers will go from a clerkship to unemployed.

Then, today, I read this article in the Wall Street Journal. It basically says that the ABA is responding to pressure to release more accurate numbers regarding employment rates for 2010 graduates. Things are looking grim. Approximately 8% of graduates get Big Law jobs. Roughly 50% get jobs at all. Only the Top 14 schools can guarantee jobs for their graduates (around 90% employed). The rest of us are screwed.

I had a first and second job interview over the past three weeks, then silence. I have another *potential* interview that keeps being pushed back for bureaucratic reasons. That's frustrating, but it's my top choice job and at least it's a prospective job (so many people have no prospects at all), so I'll be patient. It's very possible I won't find myself unemployed. I might get an offer next month or in August. Who knows? But at this moment in time I have nothing lined up and the end is nye.

Today I went to yoga on my lunch break with this topic weighing heavily on my mind. Now, most of the time I just tune out yoga instructors when the talk and I focus on the physical aspects of my practice: active stretching, balance, strength. Today I was excited to stretch out my hips after cycling and lifting weights this weekend. But today I got something out of the yogi BS: one can have purpose in stillness.

Stillness. Not moving. Not producing. Like not working.

It occurred to me that, while I fear unemployment and wish to avoid it, if it becomes unavoidable I can find purpose in it. I can use the time forced upon me to create something more. So, of course, I made a mental list while I was going through my poses. It kept me centered and, most importantly, warded off tears or a panic attack in a public place.

So, if I don't have a job lined up by the end of August, I will focus on the following aspects of unemployment:

Not enough money:
1. Apply for unemployment (roughly $200/week in Alaska).
2. Defer my student loans.
3. Enroll in my gym's financial hardship program- we are locked into our gym membership for a year, but they offer to waive your monthly fee for 3 months (I think) if you lose your job
4. Ride my bike everywhere possible (to save on gas)
5. Sign up with temp agencies

Too much time:
1. Work out a lot, every day- I will have a gym membership with great classes during the day. I may as well use this extra time to get into great shape and burn off nervous energy associated with not having a job.
2. Study French, and maybe German, every day. Maybe even find a conversation partner for free conversation practice
3. Cook all of our food, freeze and preserve what we can't eat right away so it isn't wasted, and go fishing to stock the freezer
4. Keep the house really clean and organized

Finding a job:
1. Go to every networking opportunity to continue making connections and keep an ear to the ground about potential jobs
2. Write another law review article to keep my name out there
3.  Read law review articles and generally keep up with things
4. Study my ass off for the Foreign Service exams


Basically I'm going to channel my fear and anxiety into productivity. This isn't a great turn of events, but it is what it is and I'm going to make the best of it as long as I can. At a certain point Leigh and I will have to make some serious choices, but until then this will keep us going for a few months. 


With that, I'm going to channel my current anxiety into the work that I have to do today. 

Outdoor Update

This winter was a tough winter for everyone and everything, including our lawn and plants. So far this summer we've put A LOT of effort into restoring our yard to it's former glory. When the snow melted we decided to sign up for a year's worth of lawn cleaning service. This means every Wednesday while we are at work the dog poop fairy comes and cleans up our lawn. After a few weekends of buying plants, potting soil, etc and many hours potting and arranging plants, we had a pretty decent looking back yard. 

The grass has even filled in quite a bit since I took this picture a few weeks ago. Everyone was enjoying the yard, especially Cannelle. She now spends many hours basking in the sunshine, sniffing the flowers, and chasing toys in her clean, pretty yard. 

Then, one evening last week, Cannelle decided that she hates the new yard and did this.

Actually, what happened was I moved a cinder block that was in that spot to keep Cannelle and her little puppy friend from digging under the porch. Thinking Cannelle's digging days were over, I moved the block for use elsewhere. The very next day I find she's excavated the area so that she can get her giant puppy self under the porch for further exploration. Yes, that is a PILE of dirt pushed up against our gate. All I could do is rake the dirt back under the porch and replace the cinder block. So much for regrowing the grass in that area.

Emily, repeat after me: I love my puppy, I love my puppy, I love my puppy.....

A "Down" Tuesday

Yesterday I was going nuts, mind racing, thinking about job options and life options. Today I just feel like a loser. This year has simply not turned out as great as I'd hoped it would. Last summer my goals for the following 12 months were as follows:
1. Be an awesome law clerk for a judge with a civil docket
2. Write a law review article for publication
3. Lose weight/achieve my goal weight/reduce body fat to 25ish%
4. Have a job offer in hand by May or June.
5. Travel to Europe or Southeast Asia either with Leigh or solo, whatever worked out best for us.
6. Complete a few long-distance bike rides (200-400 km).

This is what actually happened:
1. This was not easy, but I did my best to serve my judge well and I think I learned a lot, probably even more than I realize now.
2. This one I actually did accomplish. I wrote an article that was published in this month's issue of the Alaska Law Review. So far it's been well-received and serves it's purpose as a writing sample for job applications.
3. I gained weight. Actually, I was really healthy all last summer. Then I went home for Christmas. Since Christmas I've gained 10 pounds. TEN! Today I have a doctor's appointment where I will be weighed, lectured on my weight, blood drawn, and then billed for the privilege. My doctor is an ass and fails to give pertinent advice, but write prescriptions and lectures me to give up wine completely and eat fewer calories (as in, 1,000 or less per day- seriously?!).
4. I don't have a job offer. I've had two interviews with the same place so far. I really want the job. I was supposed to hear back last Friday and didn't, so I emailed the decision-maker and got a nice note back. The good news is the decision-maker still seems interested in me. The bad news is they're interviewing more people for the position... more competition. I have one other job lead, but no interview thus far. My friends have one or no job leads. This isn't looking good. I might work as a barista next year....
5. My Europe trip was thwarted when the airline didn't have space for mileage plan members to take a seat using airmiles. So I went to Hawaii instead (alone). I really, really needed a vacation. It could have been worse. Now that Leigh is pregnant we can't really plan a big trip, plus it would be foolish to spend a lot on a big trip when we're expecting a baby. So we're going to Las Vegas instead. Hopefully we'll get to take a big trip in about 2 years, when the baby is old enough to travel with us comfortably.
6. This past Sunday I completed my very first bike ride with the Alaska Randonneurs, but it was only 100 km and it nearly killed me. I'm planning to do another one next month to see if I am getting into better shape.

This feels pretty dire, but then I have to remind myself of what I've also accomplished:
1. We bought a house, a cute one, in a nice neighborhood.
2. We adopted a puppy, whom we love oh so much.
3. Leigh is pregnant, so we're starting a family. This is super exciting and might just make up for all my other failures... maybe...

So yeah, not quite an epic fail, but pretty close. With any amount of restraint and perseverance I'll trim back down. With any luck I'll get a job offer before my clerkship ends (to avoid a period of unemployment). And Leigh promises me that more travels and adventures are in our future...

But I still have to go to the doctor today :-(

It's one of those Mondays...

... when I feel all restless and can't think straight. This is probably because I'm up for an awesome job that will 1) teach me stuff I want to know 2) pay my bills and 3) make my wife happy. I was supposed to hear something about this last Friday, but of course I didn't hear anything so now I'm assuming I didn't get the job when there are other perfectly legitimate reasons why I haven't heard back (or maybe I just didn't get the job).

So this morning (it's just now 11am), I've decided it's really in my best interest to pack up my little family and run away to Southeast Asia. Why, you ask? Because it's hot there, the food is awesome, and it's a cheap place to live.

Oh, wait, you meant why pack up and move at all? Because that is my first instinct when I feel like things aren't working out someplace. I get this urge to make a plan, however half-baked, and dive in head first to start my life over again. I get scared and I funnel that fear into a new adventure. That's how I wound up in France, and later in Alaska. It works for me, or at least it did until I bought a house and Leigh got an awesome job with health benefits. That's hard to give up, especially now that we're having a baby.

At any rate, were I to do this running away thing it would consist of the following:

1. Sell EVERYTHING I own.
2. Put my house up for rent (the $300/month extra we make on the rental would cover rent on a place in the mountains of Thailand or in a coastal town in Vietnam). 
3. Save up some money (enough to get by for a few months)
4. See if Leigh can keep her job from abroad (hey, stranger things have happened!)
5. Buy an awesome camera
6. Buy plane tickets
7. Arrange to ship puppy and kitty to wherever 
8. Board plane
9. Go!
10. Eat lots of noodles
11. Get a job teaching English or something
12. Rethink the genius of this decision in about a year when I have no savings, we miss our families, and I realize that it might be nice to have a real job, at least for a little while, by the time I'm 30. 

I've also decided that I need to do the following:

• Visit the Netherlands again, this time in the summer, and also make time to visit Maastricht to see where my people come from.
• Travel to Japan, even if it's just for a little while. That place is crazy expensive, but with such a rich and different culture, it'll be like visiting another planet, and therefore, a bargain.
• Make time to visit New York. I only lived there for 3 1/2 months in law school but I really loved the energy of the place, the sense of unending possibility, the food, the access to the outside world. Even after a semester of working my ass off, socializing, and exploring, there's still so much I missed. Leigh's brother lives there now, so we have a valid excuse to visit and when we do, I'll arrive with a list in hand of stuff I should have done but never thought to (like visiting a few "literary bars"). 
• Spend our first Baby-cation in Mexico, at a beach near Puerto Vallarta. Leigh and I loved the Yucatan, but it's just too far from Alaska. The PV area is about 8-10 hours from Anchorage by air, and there are a few funky, artsy surfer towns nearby where we can chill out on the beach with Baby, take surf lessons, and drink Mexican beer. Leigh says we can start taking "real trips" with Baby when s/he is a year. The first "real trip" will be a Christmas trip to the East Coast to meet the grandparents and other relatives. After that I'm free to plan Baby-ventures for our little family.

Now I'm trying to refocus, reminding myself that it's still really early and maybe the decision-maker on this job opening is just really swamped. Even if I don't get the job there are always other options... actually the job market totally sucks right now so if I don't get this job I'll probably unemployed for at least 4-6 weeks this fall... Breath in, breath out....

In the meantime I can think about things like the awesome bike ride I did yesterday: 100 km (62 miles) around the city of Anchorage. I did the ride by myself as part of an organized ride, but about 1/3 of the way through I hooked up with another rider (we got a little turned around at the same time), then later 3 more riders, and then 2 more riders. Soon enough there were 7 of us navigating the city together and encouraging each other. I really needed the encouragement, especially after mile 45 or so. 

Also, our trip to Las Vegas in August. I'm so excited to feel the heat of the sun, sit by the pool, and drive out into the desert. This trip will also involve an amazing day hike, a few nights out on the town, and lots of great food. So excited. I keep researching good deals in Vegas, shows, fun ways to spend our time that doesn't involve strip clubs or gambling. Even though I tend to plan vacations that are more like adventures, Vegas really does have something for everyone and is a great getaway destination. It'll be perfect for me and a pregnant lady to unwind before Baby comes along.

A Saturday Out: Anchorage Pride and Such

Leigh and I tend to spend our weekends getting things done around the house: cleaning, gardening, errands, cooking, etc. But somehow this weekend turned into a BIG weekend of doing other stuff.

Saturday was Anchorage Pride, so there was a parade and a festival from noonish until early evening. We definitely wanted to go to that. We wanted to check out our neighborhood farmers market on Saturday too. Also, Leigh bought a Groupon for half off tickets to a comedy improv show. The deal was about to expire, so we had to go to the show on Saturday evening.

So Saturday morning we got up, walked the dog (to get out some initial energy before taking her in public) and went in search of breakfast... only to find that our neighborhood bagel place became a Tibetan place overnight. WTF??? So no breakfast there. The adjacent coffee shops were absolutely teeming with people, so no breakfast there either. We finally settled on Chinese dumpling style pastries and homemade bubble teas at nearby Charlie's Bakery.Then we went to the market, but left Cannelle in the car to avoid any puppy carnage.

The market had no produce. None. Not a single damn zucchini. I know we had a hard winter and a late spring and my plants are just now showing signs of life, but seriously farmers?!?! How are we supposed to enjoy summer without some decent (non-Fred Meyer's) produce? Ugh. The stop was salvaged with a cup of French press coffee and some homemade dog treats from Beetniks' Coffee of Wassilla (so far the only thing about Wassilla that makes me inclined to drive out to the Valley).

With some time to kill, Leigh and I headed over to the Habitat ReStore. That place is one big project inspiration and made me wish I had more DIY skills. We found a 12-volt light fixture that will look really cool over our kitchen sink. I have no idea if we'll be able to install it ourselves, but it was only $5 and will look great if we can figure it out.

By this time it was 1pm and we were ready to face a festival of people with our crazy dog. We parked at Leigh's work garage and started walking, only to find that Cannelle had gone completely insane from a lack of time spent among people and other dogs. Knowing this is our fault for being bad puppy moms, we pushed through it, keeping her close to us and away from too tight of crowds, people's food, etc.

Cannelle said hello to a bunch of dogs, got the lay of the land and eventually calmed down. Leigh was hungry, so I settled down on the grass with Cannelle near the stage to listen to [really terrible] music while she looked for lunch. Leigh came back with a hamburger (for me, I guess) and a hot dog (for herself) and arms full of bottled water for all three of us. Meanwhile Cannelle was busy being doted on by a toddler and I was talking to the toddler's mom.

Behind me, Leigh decides the best way to settle in next to us is to first put down my hamburger and the drinks. At that moment, Cannelle's sixth sense of unguarded food kicked in, she barreled over me and, about 3 seconds later, devoured my hamburger! The ENTIRE hamburger! No amount of restraints or commands could stop her, and soon my $7 festival lunch was in my dog's stomach.

Cannelle was thus dubbed "The Hamburgler."

Eventually we all got something to eat and decided this festival was for the birds, just as Cannelle started to behave herself (of course). We walked back to the car and headed home after a long day. Cannelle went to bed early after her big day out. Around 7pm we used a groupon for a neat little Thai place just down from our neighborhood, then went downtown for the Scared Scriptless improve show. I didn't expect much from this little community theater group, but it was actually extremely funny and well done. One of the troupe members is even a former law clerk, so it was really cool to see a local attorney using his free time to do something like that. The show ended around 9:30 and Leigh and I dragged ourselves back home with the sun still high in the sky.

On Sunday morning I rolled over around 8:30 and went downstairs to check on Cannelle, who was still fast asleep (she usually has us up for a potty break and breakfast by 7 everyday!). Saturday must have completely worn her out because she was sleepy and snuggly all day long, as were Leigh and I. It took an act of God (meaning a sudden need for a hamburger) to get us out of the house and to the grocery store. We had a late lunch/early dinner grilling out on the back porch while fending off mosquitoes (I really need to find a trick to keep those nasty things from feeding on us!).

In all it was a great weekend for the whole family. Even Juneau Cat played in the yard and did some prenatal yoga with us on Sunday night before bed. The bad news is that the house is an utter mess, the garden hasn't been mowed or weeded, and we have no food prepared for the week, so these tasks will have to be done throughout the week. Oh well, Alaskan summers are made for long fun days and housework can wait till the long dark winters, right?

Introducing Our First Child

In February Leigh told me she was really ready to try getting pregnant. We've talked about this for years, but always had a reason to wait. But when someone feels ready (and there's no obvious reason it's a bad idea), they're just ready. So we did the research, found an anonymous donor through a reputable cryo bank, and inseminated in March. Leigh tested pregnant a few days later!

She's 12 weeks pregnant now, so the highest risk weeks are over. Until now we've just told a handful of friends and our immediate family. Now that we're pretty much in the clear, we can celebrate this wonderful event with the world!

On Friday we had our 12-week OB appointment and got to see the baby again (the doctor had a hard time finding the heartbeat with the sonogram). The picture here is from our 8-week visit when Baby looked like a lima bean, but now Baby looks like a real live BABY! Baby even jumped a couple of times for us and we got to see it on the ultrasound. The doctor says Baby probably had the hiccups. I've seen and done a lot of really cool things in my life so far, but seeing that 2 1/2 inch long, 1 oz baby move on the screen in real time was easily the coolest and most exciting thing I've ever seen. I wish I'd gotten a picture, but oh well. We'll get a 3-D image at 20 weeks when we learn the sex.

I won't blog about Baby too terribly much because I'm keeping a tumblr about our experience getting pregnant and the pregnancy experience itself. But I wanted to share the good news, just in case anyone reads this who isn't also on my Facebook list.

Today was an awesome day because we celebrated gay Pride at the Park Strip in Anchorage. We took Cannelle the puppy with us, where she enjoyed attention from adults and small children alike. It was really fun to see the spectacle, even though Anchorage Pride is really small and the music was, well, terrible. Anyway, the whole time I was thinking about how next year we'll take Cannelle and our 6-month old to Pride.

Life is about to change in every way, forever, and I couldn't be happier.

Life Update

I am, officially, the worst blogger of all time. I don't even write anything anymore, probably because I think my daily life is pretty dull. The truth is, it could be duller. So here's an attempt to catch the blog up a bit.

Alaska:
It's FINALLY summer time here. Thank God! We've been enjoying off and on glorious sunny and almost warm weather for about two weeks now, with intermittent rainy days. I don't even mind the rainy days because our flowers and grass need it and in between the weather is so nice. The sun doesn't set until about 11 PM. Last night I went to bed at 10:45 and it looked like mid-afternoon outside! Crazy!

Work:
Things at work are much more tolerable than they were all year. My boss is generally polite to me, even though I am fairly certain he doesn't think a whole lot of my abilities. The support staff is friendlier these days too. I think part of this is that I've learned when to chime in and when to keep my mouth shut and they've learned that my reserved nature and straightforward speaking style is nothing personal. OK, that last sentence makes me sound like I'm a nightmare to work with. The truth is that I genuinely like most people and I'm not unfriendly, but in the words of a good friend, "nobody ever wonders what [I'm] thinking."

There's FINALLY been a little bit of movement in the job search. I had a first interview last Thursday and will have a second interview this Friday. Also, I'm told I should be getting invitations to interview with two other places soon, but the overall timing might be a little tight to have all my options (or lack of options) presented at once. The next few weeks will definitely be stressful and may present more questions than answers, but I am trying to navigate this process with some grace and professionalism (and with a LOT of Leigh's input). With any luck I'll know what I'm doing in the fall within the next few weeks...... eek!


Family:
This is a tough topic because mostly things are great with the family, but there's also been some new stress. Apparently my [crazy] mother has been terrorizing my [very emotional] grandmother to the point that my grandmother had her attorney send my mother a cease and desist letter. Not fun. And I've recently learned that my mother regularly stands outside of Planned Parenthood locations holding a 5 ft tall cross while heckling women going into the health center for various services. Please note that Planned Parenthood provides a lot of different health services. Anyway, I haven't spoken to my mother in almost a year (long story) and she hasn't been a part of my life for about five years now, but realizing that someone that closely related to me is one of those insane, religious zealots practicing acts of domestic terrorism was a hard pill to swallow. Actually, it was downright heartbreaking. Then I realized why my grandmother cries so often when these things happen. It must be devastating to see your child grow into someone you don't even recognize.

But things are still really good with my dad, other family members, Leigh's family, etc. I anticipate we'll have more happy news in the coming years than sad news like this.


Summer Activities:
I've been biking to work for about a month now. It's great. For some reason forcing myself to exercise a little bit two per day, and being outside enjoying fresh air before work, makes a HUGE difference in my mood and general feeling of good health. I haven't lost any weight, in fact I've gained a few pounds since this time last year (I love food, what can I say?), but I can tell my body appreciates the regular activity.

Leigh and I have spent a lot of time (and money) the past few weekends getting our back yard into shape. After having a service do a post-winter lawn clean up we started planning our beautification project. We planted rose bushes on either end of the bed where we planted tulips in the fall and planted flower arrangements in pots and whiskey barrels for the porch. Then we planted a series of tomato plants and other veggies, plus several herbs, in the greenhouse.

It looks really beautiful so far, but the real challenge has been keeping Cannelle out of the potted plants! So far she's ripped up a pot of flowers (which we replanted and barricaded with pest control mesh and mini border fencing, and tore out the catnip plant we potted for Juneau Cat. Ugh! tonight I'm going to take additional measures with the pest control mesh in hopes of keeping that 70 pound pest out of my flowers!

Annnnddddd.... we made vacation plans for August! VEGAS BABY! OK, OK, I know I'm probably the last person you'd imagine using my time off to go to Las Vegas, but we needed a vacation, somewhere warm that wouldn't take more than 8 hours to fly to, and somewhere that we can have fun without spending too much. So we picked Las Vegas (7 hour flight) and we're staying in a casino during the week (so the room is 1/3 the price of the weekend rate). We're really looking forward to a chance to totally unwind, lay by the hotel pool, eat good food and do some shopping. Plus we're renting a car for two days to do a day hike in Zion National Park, so we don't spend ALL our time in the lap of luxury in a giant grown-up theme park.

Alaska is Hard Sometimes

I follow a lot of travel blogs... A LOT.... The reasons are obvious, but mostly because now that I'm working, and not a student, I have to make everything count a little bit more. My 4 weeks of yearly vacation better be fucking amazing, right? Anyway, I was reading this blog about a girl from San Francisco who is living in Cambodia for a year to do some writing and English teaching. Sounds amazing, but of course it's not always a cake walk. I lived in France for 8 months and while it was one of the best experiences of my life, there were also some days that were just so frustrating for one reason or another. In that vain...

New Flash: Alaska is Hard [Sometimes]

A lot of things about Alaska make it easy and kind of perfect for black sheep, wanderlust Americans looking for a fresh start: it's in the U.S. so there's no visa requirements, the economy is pretty decent so there are usually jobs available, everyone speaks English (even if they speak other languages first), most places have first world infrastructure and accommodation, and the people are pretty welcoming.

Leigh and I are a case in point: we moved up here so I could clerk for the state trial courts. Within a month Leigh was working and soon after that she found an awesome permanent job. Our health insurance companies send us to a nice private hospital where we get excellent care.We have a list of favorite restaurants near our offices and home. We have a house, two cars, and a nice circle of friends.

But then there are the things that get to you, even if it's only every so often. Like how expensive everything is, even basic stuff like food and household supplies. In any other city of 300,000 people, we could have bought twice as much house for what we paid for our place in Anchorage. The average cost for an egg breakfast is $12, and a bowl of Pho costs $10 (it's $6 in Seattle with a free appetizer).

The stores often don't even carry the kinds of things you get used to in the Lower 48, like multiple options of the same thing for home improvement and decoration. The clothing stores seem to only sell the ugly shit they couldn't sell in Seattle. The bottom line is that, most of the time, it's better to just order your stuff and pay the shipping costs, which makes life even more expensive!

Then there's the wildlife: it is seriously cool that I've seen seals, otters, bald eagles, giant porcupines, and moose in person. It is less cool that I've run into bears when walking home from work and even less cool when I'm riding my bike on a trail and come around a corner to see a moose chilling on the bike path. Those things are big and very dangerous when spooked. I wouldn't give up the wildlife for anything, but it does add some stress to certain activities.

The hardest thing about Alaska is how isolated we are from everyone, everything, and everywhere else. Most of the time the distance from the rest of the world is what we appreciate most about Alaska. I can't imagine being 27 and just starting my life while having my family weighing in on every little decision. I know that's what parents do, but I'm a black sheep and very independent, so nothing pisses me off more than unsolicited input on my personal decisions. But everyone needs a change of scenery and a visit home. From Alaska, this is expensive and often a stressful decision. It's 3 hours and $500 for one R/T ticket just to fly to Seattle. It's a 15 hour trip to the Mid-Atlantic region (where both our families live) and the last time we went home it cost us about $1,500 in total airfare. Then there's the simple fact that I don't always want to use my 4 weeks of vacation to revisit childhood towns and hang out with relatives (sorry, I love my family, but that is NOT a vacation). I want to take Leigh to Germany and the UK, visit Southeast Asia, explore South America, and lay on a beach on a semi-regular basis. So sometimes the hardest part is deciding how to spend what little time and money we have: on a family visit or a real vacation.

At the end of the day we're better off here than anywhere else: we have jobs, we have a home, we have pets,  we have friends, and it's summer time now so the weather is glorious. We'll just have to work around the rest of it.

SUMMER!

It's been a loooonnngg time since I posted anything. Sorry! We have a lot going on in our little lives right now, so I'll start with the boring stuff. 

Jobs:

I had my first job interview of the hiring season a few weeks ago. It wasn't great. I have no idea how enthusiastic the firm was about me, but I was personally left feeling less than warm and fuzzy about them. Oh well, if they call me back I'll go for another interview. If not that's OK too. Meanwhile, I supposedly have two other firms that want to talk to me, but nothing is set in stone so I'm still sending out applications and bracing myself for a future collecting unemployment. 

Other professional stuff:

For the past few weeks I've been trying to imagine how I'll fit travel into my profession. OK, this isn't news to anyone. What I mean is that I'm trying to imagine the most realistic way possible. Enter Lawyers Without Borders. It's basically an American start-up of the French program Avocats sans Frontiers, so they have almost no budget. In fact, volunteers have to fund their own trips entirely. That's the bad news. The good news is that they only ask volunteers to give 1 to 3 weeks to do amazing things like provide training to lawyers and judges, help with important trials, develop court systems, and establish legal training programs at universities. So, if the Foreign Service doesn't pan out and I don't end up working for a multinational firm that wants to fund my travel bug, this is another way to see the world without losing my [as of yet not obtained] job. For now I'm just doing odd research projects for LWOB, but I hope one day soon I'll be able to represent them on a project abroad.

Oh, and I'm also taking the Foreign Service Exam on June 4 and applying for a business and law fellowship in Germany (just in case I'm unemployed a year from now).

Projects:

Here's the big one. We have SO MUCH GOING ON AT HOME RIGHT NOW! As you know, about a year ago Leigh and I bought this little gem in the Turnagain neighborhood of Anchorage: 

Our house is a 1,050 ft2 zero-lot-line house (we share a wall with our neighbor but it's not a condo, meaning no home owners association fees or bylaws). It has 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, an open floor plan downstairs and a large yard. The best part is it's in a quiet neighborhood only 10 minutes from work, near bike paths, and about 2 miles from some of our favorite stores and restaurants (REI and pho, anyone?). It's small, but not too small and we really love it.

But our little house needs some love. Anchorage had its snowiest winter since forever in 2012, which means our formerly green lawn (see below) is now yellow and covered in dog poop (it was a looonnngg winter). Aside from our tulips miraculously popping up, our back yard is in terrible shape. 

back yard with shed (there's also a greenhouse off to the left)

The Solution: a pooper scooper and a lot of hard work. Tomorrow a local lawn cleaning service will swing by and do our spring cleanup. Leigh hasn't been this excited about anything for a very, very long time. Once the poop is scooped we're going to spread new grass seed, clean out the flower beds, then plant flowers, rose bushes, new berry bushes, and wild flowers. But the BIG PROJECT for the yard is tearing out our in-ground flower bed (see above, next to the shed) and put in a patio area for grilling out and entertaining. This project requires excavation, three base layers of gravel and such, precise leveling and laying paving stones. Our goal is to have the yard up and running by the end of June.

The first thing I changed in this house when we moved in is the entryway. The wall to the left of the stairs just seemed sterile and boring, so I painted it a dark, kind of burnt yellow. Then Leigh and I hung a series of framed prints from our days in Buffalo, NY. The difference is amazing. The room has more character and feels warm and welcoming even during a long winter. I'll post an After picture when my living room isn't a big mess from all these projects we've started.

One of the better rooms in our house is the bathroom. After a year showering and doing our business in a room the size of a coat closet, this space is like a Five Star hotel bathroom for us. To this day, we've left this room almost untouched from what the last owner had (we even kept her washer and dryer in the closet). 

 In general we have no complaints about the bathroom, but I have plans to tweak it just a smidge. Most importantly, we're replacing the stacked washer and dryer with a newer, more efficient set that will undoubtedly leave our clothes cleaner. The set we want is on back order at Home Depot, so it probably won't be delivered until July. Oh well, we've made it this far, we can wait a few more weeks. Another change I plan to make is replacing the over-the-toilet storage system with two wall shelves painted to match the vanity cabinet. It'll free up some floor space and make the room feel more open. Plus it will give me an excuse to buy a big floor basket to hold bath towels. :-)

The bedrooms are becoming massive projects too, but we're in the home stretch already! A few months ago we decided to get new carpet. You can't see the carpet in these pictures (taken when the house was listed for sale, this is not my stuff in the rooms), but it's pretty gross: boring color, stained, smelly, and not remotely cushy. So we're swapping it for a tight-knit, dark gray plush carpet with the carpet pad make from recycled Nike sneakers. The best part is it's being installed SATURDAY!!! Of course, we decided to move our furniture and rip out the old stuff ourselves (it saved us about $300!), so that's the big project this week. Aside from moving the furniture it's been remarkably easy.

The second bedroom is undergoing a complete renovation: we painted the walls a bright "sunflower" yellow and repainted the trim to freshen up the white color. The closet is painted a grayish taupe color and will eventually serve as our office/workspace (thanks to an Ikea desk and LACK shelving).

When we moved in, the master bedroom was four different colors: purple, white, and two shades of green. It only took us 9 months to get around to repainting it. Now it's a calming, grayish taupe color. We've also reorganized our closets and rearranged the furniture and installed an IKEA LACK shelf over our headboard to serve as night stands. This room is pretty much done. Final "After" pictures to come once the new carpet is installed.

The kitchen was also a big selling point for this house, but a few months into living here we started to realize how old the cabinets are and how disorganized the storage space is. This kitchen is at least a bazillion times nicer than our last kitchen, but we own this house, so we're thinking toward the future...

Eventually we'd like to replace the cabinetry with something in a natural shade, maybe with plexiglass fronts to give the space a more open feel. We also want to switch out the electric oven with gas. For right now we're focusing on making this space as comfortable as possible, so we bought a kitchen island at Home Depot on a super duper clearance. We're using the island as a buffet in the dining area to store large appliances (bread maker, juicer) and bar accoutrement, plus it provides more food prep space. Our next move is to find a square 4-seater table to replace our large rectangular table so the dining space doesn't feel so crowded.

So that's the update. We have a lot going on and we're really excited to be making so much progress so early in the summer. With any luck we'll be slowing down to enjoy the final results by July!