Travel Plans

Now that I'm a working stiff I feel like I never get to go anywhere. So instead I live in a fantasy world where I get to go on trips all the time, so I travel plan. Recently I've been developing an interest in long distance bike rides, not races, but rides. In the past there was a 1200k ride from Boston to Montreal and back to Boston. For some reason this ride isnt' held anymore, but it's still a permanent (meaning you can register for it and do the ride on your own and get credit). I love Boston and I've been wanting to visit Montreal for years. Leigh feels the same way about these cities and has expressed an interest in spending next year's summer vacation this way (instead of Hawai'i!). Obviously, riding 350 miles to Montreal and then turning right around isn't the best way to see a new city, so we've decided to make our own ride out of this.

Instead of hauling ass from Boston to Montreal and then getting back within 90 hours, we've decided to fly into Boston, stay a day or two, then ride to Montreal through Vermont, taking our time. We'll try to average 70-100 miles per day so we get done in a reasonable amount of time. We'll also "credit card tour" the whole thing, staying in motels and such so we're more comfortable. Upon arrival in Montreal, we'll stay a few days to check things out before catching a flight home from Burlington, VT. Sounds fun, right?

• Here's the route:

Leigh and I have also done some talking about our Southeast Asia plans. She's not sure she can/wants to go anymore, but she knows I really want to take this trip before I settle into a new job in 2012. So she's now encouraging me to travel Southeast Asia solo. Normally I would feel very guilty about this, that I am being selfish by taking a long trip while Leigh stays home and works, but when your spouse all but tells you to use your time between jobs to get a trip out of your system, it's best to listen.

The down side to this is that I'm sure Leigh would really enjoy this trip, especially if we pulled out all the stops money-wise and lived like kings the whole time. Another down side is that I'm sure I would enjoy having these experiences with her. The up side is that this way we don't have to juggle our work/out of work schedules to find sufficient time for the trip. Also, it frees up a lot of money only having to buy one $1,500 roundtrip flight instead of two. What's more, I'll have more time to see and do everything I had hoped to without the constraints of using up Leigh's paid time off. In all it sounds like a good plan, but of course it's based on some qualifiers: (1) having the money to buy the tickets ahead of time (2) getting a job offer so it's not completely irresponsible of me to run off for a month or so and (3) getting a job offer somewhere that doesn't mind me delaying my start date by 4-6 weeks.

Because I'm going to have more time to travel and will be on my own schedule, I've made some alterations to our former plans. Basically, I'm going to buy a one-way ticket from Anchorage to Bangkok and a one-way ticket from Hanoi, Vietnam to Anchorage. All of my other travels will be over land (trains, boats and buses). What's more, aside from having some vague plans to visit various sites and cities in a certain order, I'm not going to prebook anything except my accommodation for my first few nights in Bangkok (I'll be exhuasted, so it's best to have a plan for that!). Instead of high-tailing it out of Bangkok immediately, I'm going to spend a few days there before going to Chiang Mai, stopping at Ayutthaya along the way. Then, instead of paying a premium to fly to Siem Reap to see Angkor Wat, I'm going to take the train to the border and then a taxi the rest of the way. Similarly, I'll take a boat and a bus to Saigon before exploring Vietnam from South to North by train. Traveling overland will save me headaches from preplanning and a lot of money (trains and boats are so cheap!) in transportation, plus it's all about the journey, right? As you can see, I like having a plan, but I think I am really going to love choosing my departure days and times and my accommodation and activities more on a whim.

So once again this is all just speculative, but it seems more likely to happen now that we've taken Leigh's work schedule out of the equation. I'll still get to go and see and do all the things I've been researching for months, including having some suits tailored for me in Thailand and Vietnam, and Leigh will get some alone time to focus on work. She's also planning a shorter [domestic] solo trip of her own during that time, though she hasnt' chosen where she'll go.

Cycling and Fitness Update

Yesterday after work I went to a general interest meeting for the local randonneur group. The presentation was long and involved and very techy, but it was nice to see that this is a real thing and a lot of people get into it. I was also really excited to see that the local group has started a 1200k to coincide with the Paris-Brest-Paris ride, just in case a rider can't make it to Europe in a given year. Good to know. However, a lot of the information was either too elementary (I had already learned it via Google and their website) or way too advanced (what the hell is a 680c tire?). Anyway, I'm still pumped up and can't wait for the trails to clear up. In the meantime I think I'll get a tune up for my bike so it's ready to go.

Speaking of bikes, I've been thinking more and more about how I need a new one. I window shopped at REI after the meeting and found that they have quite a few nice models for just under $1,000. That's still too pricey for me right now. Also, those models fall just short of meeting my needs/wants. For $1,000 I think I should get everything I want, right? So now I'm thinking that, when I'm ready, I'll go to a local shop and see if they can put one together for me, fit it to me, and add on the tires and accessories I'll need to be comfortable on a long ride. I might wind up buying a used frame, which is totally fine with me. Based on what I've heard, this won't cost much more than buying a stock model brand new. I'm also hoping this process will allow me to learn more about the equipment and mechanics so I won't be totally helpless in the event of a breakdown.

As for fitness, well it's more about a lack thereof. I was very lazy in the weeks leading up to the Hawai'i trip because I was so burned out on life. In Hawai'i I was very active and it was a blast. When I came back I thought for sure the ice and snow would be mostly gone and I could start enjoying the bike trails again. I was wrong. The shaded areas of the bike trails (that would be the vast majority of the trails) still have 3 inches or so of snow covered with a layer of slippery ice. Not fun. I'm not even remotely equipped for this kind of riding. So I've just been sitting on my ass a lot lately and wishing it was May already. This is also making me a little depressed because 1) I'm realizing how short our spring/summer riding season is and 2) when I don't get exercise I don't sleep well and I get the blues.

In other news, Leigh and I hit rock bottom with our Nutella addictions. Before we lived in France we had never had it and I swore I didn't like it. Then I tasted my roommate's Nutella and it was all downhill from there. First I ate it on toast, then eventually just started eating it by the spoonful. We hit rock bottom last week when we went to Costco and bought a large double pack of the jars (not giant, like most Costco items, but still a lot of Nutella) and finished them both off within a week! I can't even imagine how many calories that was. It was gluttonous and fun, but we ultimately had to admit that we have a problem and cannot buy Nutella for a long, long time.

So here I am, caught between seasons: no skiing, no cycling (at least not this year, I'm not that hardcore yet!), no gym membership, softball hasn't started yet, and there's too much snow for casual hiking (a hiker was killed by an avalanche just outside of town earlier this week). The best I can do is focus on "eating clean" and hope for warm weather to clear up the snow. Maybe some online bicycle shopping will help....hmmm....

Personal Goals

I am constantly adding stuff to my "bucket list" or my "before I'm 30 list." I'm also constantly hearing about fun new ways to challenge myself or make life more interesting. The flavor of the week is randonneur cycling. Basically it's long distance bike riding where you carry your food and gear. The rides aren't races, it's more about finishing under your own speed in an alotted time, which is much more my style than wanting to beat the other athletes in an event. I just dont' care about winning, I care about finishing and achieving. How I've never heard of this before this week is astounding, but there it is.

Luckily there's a fantastic randonneur group here in Anchorage that organizes recognized rides and provides info and support for new folks interested in riding. I'm going to an interest meeting tonight at REI. With this in mind I've decided to set the following goals for myself this summer:

• Ride 10 miles in under and hour (the Coastal Trail will serve as a great test)


• Ride 25 miles in under 2 hours (Coasta Trail + big loop toward my apartment)


• Complete De Ronde van Anchorage 100k in June


• Complete the Kenai Backroads 200k in September


• If I'm feeling very adventurous by late June there's a 200k then and another 100k in July, but that remains to be seen!


• Prepare to complete a 200/300/400/600 series next year and then choose between the Fireweed 400 miler or the Bild Wild Ride 1200k. Those are big rides, so I'll need to judge my perparedness at a later date.


• Ultimate Goals: Complete the MS Ride Across the US within 3 years and the Paris-Brest-Paris in 2015 (the next year the ride is held).

The good news is that there's ample opportunity for me to learn and improve this summer. The bad news is that my bike is terrible for this type of riding! I have the wrong handlebars, the wrong frame length, no shock absorbtion to speak of and my bike is quite heavy. With the right maintenance I'll be able to get through this summer on such a machine, but anything beyond 200k will prove challenging if not impossible. The next bit of bad news is that a proper rando bike will run me anywhere from $900-2,000! They're not cheap! However, I've been thinking of upgrading to a better bike than the $80 Schwinn I bought off Craigslist. This gives me some real motivation. If I still want to go forward with this sport at the end of the summer I can save for my new bike over the winter. Also, considering the endurance required to complete these rides and how early in the season they start, I think I might need to learn to ride in snow and ice to stay in shape over the winter. Based on my difficulty with that on the icy/snowy Coastal Trail yesterday, that could prove a bit difficult.. yikes!

Baby Talk

Leigh and I have been talking about having a baby for years, but only recently have we really decided to do it. We're in no position to make this happen immediately, of course, as I need a permanent job and Leigh needs to get settled into her own job. We also don't have a suitable living space right now and want to pay off some small debts. So the plan is to get a better place to live (rental or buy if we can get a mortgage), pay off our credit cards, and try for a pregnancy. By our calculations we'll be all set by mid-2012.

Anyway, this is all very exciting and sometimes we can hardly contain ourselves when we see brand new babies and little kids in public. Their parents are so lucky. When our friends get pregnant or deliver we both initially feel a pang of jealousy, but then quickly become so happy for them we can hardly stand it. I've also been watching "16 & Pregnant" on MTV, which tends to make me so angry: Leigh and I could never have an "oops!" baby, but if we did it would be the happiest occasion. Meanwhile these kids didn't even have to try and they have a baby, which if we're all being honest they would prefer to not have. It seems so unfair.

Then last night when we were talking about moving and having a baby and how fun/challenging it will be Leigh said, "What are we going to do with a baby? I mean, do you ever think we're just kidding ourselves? That maybe this is just another one of those things we don't get?"

Yeah, I do feel that way a lot. I don't know why because the truth is we're going to be good at it. We're stable, we're crazy about each other, we're educated and have varied interests, and we really want the baby as opposed to people who get stuck with "surprise!" children and have to make it work. A child could be a lot less lucky than to have us as parents. But there's that feeling I can't quite shake that we're not good enough for this. It's for other people to do and we'll just fuck it up. Odds are that everyone has that fear, but for us I think it stems less from fear of failure and more that we've always lived in a world where we are made to feel like sub-human, second class citizens with fewer rights and privileges. Everything has always been just a little bit harder for us and we've had to make adjustments accordingly. Having a baby is going to be very hard, and expensive, for us, almost to the point that it seems like we're trying to force something that just shouldn't happen.

This is the saddest, scariest feeling I've ever had about myself and my future. All I've ever wanted was a solid, happy family and the chance to give someone else the supportive, loving home I never had. But now we've voiced the fear that maybe this simply is not meant to be. Because we are who we are, we'll push forward with our plans because, odds are this is just another thing that is going to be a little bit more difficult for us but will be just fine in the end.

How Far We've Come

Last week Leigh found a picture of her and I from about 3 years ago. In the picture we are standing in front of her old Honda Accord, wearing jeans and hoodies about to leave my Dad's house in Ferrum for our place in Buffalo. It was an "end of a visit" picture. Looking at that picture now is pretty tragic: We both have long, stringy hair, ill-fitting clothes and we're both quite overweight. At that time I had shoulder-length hair. This is NOT a good look for me. It makes my face look round and doudy. Luckily today we're both in better shape, dress more carefully and have more flattering hairstyles, but I can't help but wonder if 5 years from now we'll look back on pictures from today and think "oh God, how did we go out in public like that?!?"

Anyway, it just got me thinking about how much we've changed since then, around the time I started law school. We were such kids! It was our first time living far from our parents, doing the "married life" thing, Leigh was working full time and I was trying to build a career from scratch (I guess I'm still trying to do that!). Since then we've moved a few times, traveled Europe, broken up and reunited. Today we're totally different people: more secure, more willing to demand what we want from life and from each other, more adventurous and we hold ourselves to higher standards as individuals. I feel comfortable speaking for both of us on these topics, but especially for myself.

It's also helped me to reflect on a stressful work situation I'm currently dealing with. Nothing is actually going badly at work, but certain personality clashes are making my work atmosphere pretty tense, increasing my stress levels and causing me to count the days until Sept 1 when I move up to Superior Court. Three years ago I would have lost my cool with the offending person and told them what I think of their bad behavoir, leading to an argument and possibly irreparable damage to the working relationship. Today I take the "turn the other cheek approach." If I engage a hostile person in a tense conversation it will certainly lead to an argument, which is both unnecessary and unprofessional. I'd be just as unprofessional as my counterpart and in the end we'd both look like petty children. Instead I've simply discussed my frustrations with a trusted advisor so that someone else is aware of a brewing issue and have decided to let things pass as they will without my intervention. My counterpart can continue to dig his or her grave as they see fit and I will do my best to let any jabs roll off my back while preserving my own reputation. In other words, I've learned to forego momentary comforts in exchange for maintaining a reputation of professionalism in the long term. Odds are this will not be the last difficult person I will have to work with, so it's best I learn to deal with these things now and build a good reputation amongst colleagues as someone who can work through stressful situations.

So now it's Monday and I have 40 hours this week to enjoy the company of someone who pretty much hates me. I can handle it. Really, I can. I'll just sit back and do my work and see what comes to pass. In the meantime I can take comfort in some things I've recently discovered:

• the 100k bike ride later this summer I'm going to start training for today


• the affordable 2 bedroom apartment I found that might come available this fall. It's even near one of my favorite parks, walking/cycling distance to downtown!


• Bar Convention in Fairbanks in 2 1/2 weeks. Should be a fun time


• Leigh's birthday trip to the Sea Life Center in Seward


• New social gatherings taking place around town now that it's lovely and sunny outside

I'm also really happy because Leigh is really enjoying her job. I picked her up from work last Friday, after a post-tax season social, and she said "I REALLY like it here!" She meant Anchorage in general, not just her company. Shock me! When we first moved here we weren't sure how long we'd last, but we're both really settling in nicely. Assuming I find a good job after clerkship #2, there's no reason we can't plan to stay as long as this place continues to make us both so happy. I guess sometimes big gambles really do pay off!

Professional Frustrations

I'm pretty friendly, especially at work where it's part of being professional. I pride myself on being easy to work with and able to find at least one or two things I like about a person so we can get along. This becomes more difficult when the other person has no interest in being professional, mature, or even nice. That's what's happening now. I shouldn't let this bother me because my life is pretty great: I have a great spouse, a sweet cat, exciting life/career goals and am just generally very happy. Not everyone can say this and I know when I go home at the end of the day I'm more content than the person causing my troubles at work. But it DOES bother me that my colleague can't even be nice to me, makes cutting remarks, is unnecessarily judgmental of others, and even refuses to answer simple questions as though I'm competition or have ill wishes for her. I'm not and I don't! I just want to get along with people and, if we click, maybe even develop a friendship. Instead I get to share space with a grumpy, downright unpleasant person for 40 hours per week. Days like today make me wish it was August and I was moving onto clerkship #2 on the 4th Floor with my OWN office..... Anyway, that's enough whining for now. I should just buckle down and be a grownup about this. Venting Ceased...

Feeling Fab

It's amazing what a little break can do for a person. Leigh and I were only gone one week, but it went by nice and slowly as we'd hoped. Now we're back and work and doing 90% better than before we left! Leigh has lost her voice and is still catching up on her sleep from our night flight home, but nothing that is really going to hold her back. In fact, Leigh returned to work yesterday and got an award! That's right, she was hired permanently only a few weeks ago, promptly went on vacation and then was given an award on her first day back. This can only mean one of two things: (1) her company is a magical place or (2) she has successfully hypnotized her superiors and can look forward to many more, frequent recognitions of her efforts including frequent raises, free cars, and a puppy. I certainly hope it's the latter because I'd really love a puppy! I'm feeling amazing as well. I took yesterday off to get our apartment/lives back in order including washing some really smelly camping clothes and am now back at work without the crazy workload I was expecting. I'm even dressed to the nines in a new top I bought in Honolulu and my cute black pants. Also, this morning I came into work, picked up a few files, and got down to it without much ado. Before my vacation I was Madame Procrastinator and had zero love for my work. Just another testament to taking time for yourself and living your life to the fullest: it leaves you more willing and able to do your work well. Now I'm happy to do my work and am making extracurricular plans for this week, something I didn't have the motivating to do for nearly a month! On Friday alone I have on my calendar a morning CLE, a French conversation group after work and a party that night. Crazy day, but I think I might just be in the mood for it! Later this month I'm looking forward to a fundraiser for a new farmer's market in town and in just over 3 weeks I'm going to Fairbanks for the Bar Convention! What a great way to kick start Spring/Summer!

Return From Hawai'i

Leigh and I landed back in Anchorage at 5am this morning and man were we tired! Between 7am on April 10 and 9am on April 11, I only slept about 45 minutes total. Needless to say, I took today off to sleep, do laundry, etc. Feeling much more human now.

The Hawai'i vacation was my first normal vacation in several years. I think the last vacation I went on was in 2007 or so. Then I did tons of traveling around Europe and the US for work/adventure/etc, but it's not the same thing. Hawai'i was a true vacation for us. We didn't plan much in terms of activities, we ate a lot, relaxed a lot, and rotated between sleeping, eating, lounging and checking things out. We also spent a lot of money because we knew this would be our last vacation for quite a while. I came home with a tan (sunburn, actually), gifts for a few folks, some good shopping, and probably 2 or 3 pounds of new weight that I get to burn off now. It was so relaxing and lovely.

For the first 5 nights we tent camped at a great little campground on the North Shore called Friends of Malaekahana. It's run by a non-profit and is so unbelievably low-key. Our site was about a minute's walk from a small, remote beach and we had access to rustic toilets and showers. We also rented a car for the week, so when we needed a break from the sun we'd go driving around the North Shore exploring the little hippie towns, mom and pop shops, and checking out the beaches. For the last three nights of our stay in Hawai'i we went to Waikiki and stayed in a semi-private room at Polynesian Beach Club Hostel, which was basic and fine for a few nights. The hostel was easy going and offered a lot of freebies like beach chairs and extremely cheap surfbard rentals. Unfortunately my second surfing attempt was thwarted by smallish waves and cutting my big toe on some volcanic rock. Ouch! Also, after most of week in the quiet, beautiful North Shore area, Honolulu was just a shock to the senses.

We made the most of the crowded, dirty beaches and hoards of people by shopping at an amazing mall, eating a lot at the great restaurants and hitting up happy hours on a regular basis. My favorite discovery was Wang Chung's karaoke bar where we sucked down Lychee vodka and sodas and made friends with a few locals. We were even serenaded by an insurance auditor from San Diego and watched a very drunk girl try to make out with a married [and straight] woman who was having a drink with her husband. Drunk girl then moved on to the gay bartender, who kept shooting "help me!" looks in my direction. Sorry, Buddy, I'm not getting involved in that! Luckily this was all in good fun and allowed us to do some excellent people watching. While on the southern end of the island we also went snorkeling at Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve, which was probably one of the most fun new experiences either of us have had in years!

Leigh and I have decided that, while living in Alaska, we'll make Hawai'i our "go to" vacation destination when we don't have plans for a bigger trip. We'll DEFINITELY camp at Friends of Malaekahana again, but next time we want to rent a grass shack on the beach for increased comfort and to avoid having to check our tent in our luggage. We've also pretty much decided that we can skip Honolulu. It's just so crowded and we found such tranquility on the North Shore of Oahu, why go anywhere else?

Anyway, it's great to be home and we're glad to be back with our Juneau Cat, but now the real work begins. Aside from a few day/weekend trips we're planning this summer around the state, this was our last vacation until next Christmas. In the meantime we have a lot to accomplish, including:

• Pay off my credit card (not a small task)


• Fund our Christmas trip (by paying off my credit card)


• Build up our savings (we want to have a house down payment by the end of 2012)


• Get back on track with the Eat-Clean Diet. By next Christmas I'd like to lose about 10 lbs, Leigh would like to lose as much as 20 lbs.


• Join the Master's Swim Class here in Anchorage


• Sign up for Adult German Classes for the Fall


• Participate in weekly French conversation practice


• Find a better place to live for next year (either cheaper or roughly the same rent but bigger)

Phew! Steps toward accomplishing these goals begin tomorrow. For tonight I think I'll hit the hay early.