Future Thoughts

For some reason I can never stop thinking about what I want in the future. Not to say that I'm incapable of enjoying the moment, but each sliver of boredom inevitably leads to daydreams about plans: in 2 weeks, in 6 months, next year, in 5 years, when I'm old.

The good news is that I'm once again comfortable having the "when I'm old" daydreams because I recently got great news from the doctor! My blood chemistry is "almost completely normal" after a month of medication and careful dieting. Of course, I have to continue both therapies (meds and dieting), but it looks like I have a fighting chance of living a long time.

Things are going well for Leigh and I right now. We've recently had a lot of little triumphs and excitement. First and foremost, we bought a house this year. This is HUGE! If you'd asked me last summer if I thought I'd own a house in Anchorage I'd say, "Are you crazy? Have you seen my clerking salary and the cost of real estate in Alaska?! No freakin' way!" But yes, it all worked out, and Leigh and I now have a cute little house that will serve as a cozy home for now and an investment later. We couldn't be more pleased. Leigh also has a job, a really good one that she likes and can take her places. We like where we live, meaning we BOTH like it, and we're now mommies to a puppy and our trusty Juneau Cat.

Things are good, but I'm getting bored with work. My current clerkship ends in about 2 weeks, then I start another, very different, clerkship. My workload will be higher and I expect I'll be supervised more closely. I've been warned there will be some Saturdays and many evenings. The good news is these things add up to more cash value for unused vacation, the bad news is that I'm still earning a small salary for a lot of work and the work is pretty much the same as I'm doing now: legal research, writing memos, writing orders. Nothing wrong with writing, in fact it's the backbone of my profession, but I sometimes wonder when the day will come that I get to sit in on a meeting and strategize with other attorneys. I'm waiting for the day when I get to negotiate for something instead of always having to be so reasonable and so even-minded.

So I start daydreaming. It's too risky to daydream about my next job because these things NEVER turn out the way you think they will. I can only hope I wind up working on civil issues (preferably in the private sector), the rest is up to the employers. But I can daydream about the rest of my life. I read a quote about lawyers working abroad that said, "you can be the captain of your ship." That's what I want: the opportunity to set my own course.

So I told Leigh today that, assuming I have some luck finding work after my second clerkship, we need to just plan to "retire" really early. In my wildest dreams I'd imagine spending some years in Europe, first to attend an international business program then to work a bit. Then I'd want us to live in Southeast Asia for a while. We could work a bit and rent out our house in the US. After that, maybe Latin America? We could see the world, have a wonderful work-life balance, and enjoy the fruits of our labors (working our way through school then living sensibly and working a lot as young adults).

Now "retirement" for me can mean any number of things: working part-time, going back to school, consulting, working for an NGO, teaching in some capacity, contract work, or not working at all. It really depends on my financial situation and level of boredom. Leigh has expressed an interest in either not working or being transferred to an overseas location of her current job. These things can happen. Leigh is really on-board with the idea, which I also would not have beleived if you'd asked me a few years ago!

So now we have to buckle down back to reality. I have another year of clerking left and a marathon of job searching to do during that time. It'll likely be one of the more stressful times in my life because, well, this job search is the one that really counts. Then I can focus on closer things: creating financial stability, taking a real vacation, maybe starting a family. If we keep these goals in mind then this dream can come true. If not, well, I'm sure we'll let it evaporate in favor of another dream that we haven't even come up with yet.