Reving Up

Oh my gosh it seems like so much is happening so fast. The past several weeks, no, MONTHS have been a lot about maintaining. I've been trudging through my job (though not very well, I'm hardly impressing anyone these days), gathering comp time and PTO days as much as possible, eating carefully, trying to get exercise, planning this crazy Mad Men party, and basically counting the days until I leave for Florida/Virginia for the holidays.

It's starting to get to me. No, really.

Every day is a tiny struggle. I'm starting to feel the world close in a tiny bit. The other day I started thinking about my trip to Europe. Instead of feeling excited and ready to hop a plane I felt NERVOUS. WHAT?!?! Who is this person?!?! I never feel nervous, I only feel excited and enticed to do research and plan and then get started on my trip. This whole staying in one place and always seeing the same people thing is turning me soft. Must. Travel. Now.

Then there's the article. I've been working on a law article for about a month and a half now. It's due Dec 1. That's really coming up. I have no idea if the article is ready for submission yet. I have no idea if it's been worth all this time and effort. Hopefully my lovely volunteer readers will serve as my oracles and help me get over this hurdle of self-doubt.

Then there's the job search (see part about article). All I'm doing now is writing the article and trying not to panic at the lack of correspondence with my professional contacts. My new mantra is "it's not personal, they're just really busy." God I hope that's true.

On Friday I'm throwing a party. I think everyone in Anchorage between the ages of 24 and 35 is coming. I didn't plan it like that, it just happened. It should be really fun. We're doing a Mad Men/ 1960's theme. This means lots of drinking, funny clothes, and downright scary snack foods. Planning this party has made it all too clear how American obesity epidemic started.

Then there's Thanksgiving. Last year Leigh and I made a mini Thanksgiving just for the two of us. That was a fun, quiet day at home together. This year my friend Joanie and her hubby are hosting for about 15 people. Leigh and I are bringing deliciously naughty foods (mac'n'cheese and PIE) to add to the celebrations. There will be lots of people and lots of food plus hopefully a few glasses of wine. This should be fun. After several weeks of keeping my head down and working my tail off, it sounds like a great way to spend a fake holiday (sorry, I had to throw that in there).

Yesterday I learned that my grandpa is very ill and will likely pass away soon. But "soon" is a very relative term. It could be tomorrow or next week or in a few months. We have no idea. I just hope he's not in pain and that my grandma is holding up OK. We aren't close, but he's family and my dad and his siblings are dealing with a lot right now. The bottom line is that I might be flying to Maine at the last minute to help with the family stuff. That's kind of stressful, but I want to be there for my dad and that means being flexible and available to my loved ones. This also might change any and all of the above goings on, but that's life. I guess another mantra could be "go with the flow, it's much easier that way."