It's Personal...

Today I received a birthday card at my work address from someone in my family with whom I choose to not speak. Because I work for the Court System, my mail is searched. So not only do I feel that my privacy has been invaded by being contacted by someone I don't want to hear from, I also feel that it was not a private event (such as when this person emails me out of the blue like they deserve to contact me). Also, because this person doesn't know my job title at the Court System, they just put [My Name] c/o Court System, with the wrong building number, city and state. So the post office corrected the building number and the folks in the mail room had to run a search to find out my title and my office number to deliver the card to me. Basically, a lot of effort went into giving me something I really don't want.

Here are a few ground rules. When I choose to keep someone out of my life, for whatever reason (because, as an adult I have the right to do this whether you agree or not), I would very much appreciate the following:

• Please don't give out my home/work address/email or even place of business. The internet is vast and most people can be found, so giving out hints is the same thing as giving out my home address.
• If I've blocked you on facebook and dont' reply to your emails then I don't want to hear from you.
• I don't want to hear stories about this person, especially how they have offended or wronged you. Part of cutting someone out is supposed to be that you don't have to deal with their bullshit anymore. I don't want the stress of knowing this person, so that means I don't want the stress of hearing stories about how you continue to subject yourself to their bad behavoir.
• Do not ask me whether I think we will be in contact again in the future. It's not for you or anyone else to say who I should or shouldn't have in my life. What's more, I refuse to feel guilty for preserving my emotional well-being by cutting someone out. I admit that it's rude to refuse to speak to someone, but obviously their behavoir must go far beyond rude for me to go to this much trouble to avoid them.
• Try to imagine that you've finally found the perfect combination of factors to lead to real, honest happiness. Now imagine that those around you refuse to understand this and continue to intrude on this delicate balance in little ways. That would be frustrating, wouldn't it? Well that's how I feel when my friends and family do the above-listed things. All I ask is that the people in my life respect my decision and give me the personal space and privacy that all adults have a right to.

Tantrum ended. Back to work.