That Pesky Feeling That Something is Amiss

It's been a long time since I've faced blatant discrimination because I'm gay. High School was hardly a treat, but I suspect I would have been miserable if I were straight too. 

When I was 18 I worked at the Walmart Pharmacy in Farmville, VA. At one point that summer I worked 3 weeks without a day off. One day I had to pull a 12 hour shift when I was scheduled to only work 6 hours. Then my hours were cut to avoid paying me overtime. After a summer of this in addition to my (female) manager making incredibly inappropriate comments and asking me personal questions, I was fired when my supervisors figured out that Leigh wasn't just my roommate. 

That really sucked. I didn't sue Walmart because Virginia has never protected employees from workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Plus I knew being part of a lawsuit would make it more difficult for me to get into law school. 

Over the past 10 years Leigh and I have faced some tough situations: being rejected by religious organizations (I was once told I was welcome to join a church if I changed my lifestyle and I was not allowed to work with the youth), receiving terrible service from waiters who are grossed out that we are on a date, being required to submit sheaths of documentation of our relationship in order to rent apartments or be recognized on one another's benefits, switching doctors because we find out our existing doctor is homophobic (this usually happens while you're naked, by the way), and working for people who can't know anything about your personal life because they believe 1) gay people are not legitimate individuals 2) we are all pedophiles and 3) they couldn't possibly know a nice, intelligent person who leads a deplorable lifestyle. 

We have personally experienced each of these forms of discrimination. Every one of the above experiences hurt a lot, but honestly we have it pretty good. Neither of us have ever been physically assaulted because we are homosexual. We have never been evicted. Our families still speak to us (well, mostly). But every day we are subjected to others' horrific commentary on our lives. Our most basic protections and freedoms are often used as political ammunition. Our leaders' or would-be leaders' words ignite hate and fear in members of our community. Once the election is over we have to live among these people. We must attempt to maintain our dignity and peaceful daily lives by always rising above. 

Last Friday I was offered a job interview at a small firm in Anchorage focused in business law. I was surprised to hear from them, but delighted to have an opportunity to explore this potential job. All I knew about the firm was on the website. They struck me as a little bit old fashioned, but they have an interesting client list and the job description was very interesting: business transactions, litigation, and probate. Most of all, I was excited to have another iron in the fire since my clerkship is basically over this Friday. 

The assistant who emailed me suggested I meet the shareholders next Monday. I am going to be out of town all next week, I said, so could we do it this week or after September 5th? No problem, the assistant says. So we set an appointment for September 5. This email exchange occurred just last Friday. Then last night around 7:00 pm I received this email from the same assistant:

"The shareholders have asked me to cancel this appointment.  I will let you know if we will need to reschedule after September 5.  Thank you for your interest."

No explanation. No apology for wasting my time. First, I have never, ever heard of a potential employer setting up an interview only to cancel it. If they do cancel the provide an explanation: the position is filled; we are suspending our recruiting process for the time being; the shareholders are unable to meet at that time. But this email was coldly brief without any excuse given. It left me to wonder.

Did the assistant just screw up? Maybe she meant "reschedule," not "cancel." Is it because they have a pending matter before my judge? No, that can't be it. I'm not working on that matter and, besides, it's my responsibility to clear interviews with my judge, not theirs. 

So I scanned the website again and I see it: the primary shareholder, the guy whose name is on the door, is a very active member of a very large and very homophobic church in this city. I check the church's website just to make sure. Yep, they support Exodus International, a conversion therapy group (of the "attach electrodes to your genitals and shock you while forcing you to watch porn" variety). They liken homosexual behavior with alcoholism and adultery. They believe that gays have a deliberate agenda to cause businesses to collapse, the general collapse of sexual morality, and encouraging young people to experiment.This church teaches that homosexual behavior includes indoctrinating children to promulgate the lifestyle. They teach other lessons too, each more ludicrous and hurtful than the next. 

Now I can't get it out of my head that they cancelled my interview because the shareholders learned that I'm gay. This is a small town, so it's very likely we know some of the same people. Or maybe the Googled me and saw that I "liked" Rachel Maddow and Tegan and Sara on my Facebook page. It doesn't really matter. The truth is that I'm happy that the general legal community knows that I'm gay. I'm perfectly comfortable with people talking about me to their friends and colleagues and my same-sex marriage being general knowledge. It saves me the trouble of coming out, or deciding whether to come out, to every person I meet. It allows me to just be myself without feeling like I'm taking a political stance every time I get to know someone a little bit. 

This is my life. It just is. I'm not asking you to celebrate it with me anymore than you ask me to celebrate your straight lifestyle with you. Now let's get back to work. 

But my comfort level with myself doesn't change the fact that I am so disappointed, hurt, and haunted by the very real possibility that I've lost a job interview based on my private life and, ultimately, rumors and innuendo. My first reaction was anger, then I felt worthless, then I felt like I was back in high school again. 

This morning, I'm a bit relieved. I don't have to waste my time interviewing with an organization that has nothing to offer me (the benefits wouldn't include my spouse, I wouldn't get time off when the baby is born, etc). So now, between bouts of anger and shock, I'm slowly coming to terms with this reality. Prop 5 failed in Anchorage. I have no recourse. I have no protection. All I can do is work harder to focus my energies on organizations that honor me as I am, no better or worse than anyone else, and block out organizations that can't see the truth: I'm just like you.

No, actually, I'm better than you. Not because I'm gay, but because I accept you for who you are and I don't use my religion as an excuse to exclude you from a happy and prosperous life. 

The Popsicle Stick Update

The Popsicle stick has been found, and luckily in a very clean and not gross way!

On Saturday I was cleaning and moving some items into our storage shed in the yard. On one of my trips back to the house I saw a half-chewed but almost 100% intact Popsicle stick laying on the grass. It was all by itself, no poop or anything else anywhere to be found. I can only imagine that Cannelle coughed it up one day this week and then went about her business.

Either way, we were so relieved that the Popsicle stick resurfaced and our doggie seems to be A-OK.

The Popsicle Stick

Two days ago my dog swallowed a Popsicle stick. In fact, she ate the entire Popsicle. Whole. She doesn't chew. Ever.

Correction: Leigh fed her the stick.

Actually, what happened was that Leigh was craving chocolate. She found the last fudgesicle in the freezer, but after tasting it her pregnancy hormones told her it had gone bad (really?) so she didn't want it. I said "just give it to Cannelle, she's a big dog and it probably only has a teaspoon of cocoa powder in it." Don't worry, vets have told me bigger dogs can eat chocolate without it bothering them.

So Leigh holds out the Popsicle to Cannelle. Cannelle takes the whole thing, spits it out because it's cold. Leigh reaches for it to keep her from eating the stick, but too late. The stick is in her mouth. I grab her mouth  and open her jaws to pull it out but, again, too late. She's swallowed it. Nowhere to be seen.


Of course, my dog regularly eats eaten entire shoes. The laces, the sole, everything. Luckily she chews those into smaller bites before swallowing them.


We panic. We Google it. A shocking number of hits come up. Apparently this happens a lot. The good news is that most dogs can pass a Popsicle stick without event. The edges are round and the chemicals in it (ew) prevent it from digesting. This keep it from splintering and causing internal bleeding. Fun fact: Popsicle sticks are not visible on an X-Ray, so all you can do is watch out for lethargy, vomiting, and blood in the stool. That's when you know it's time for emergency surgery.

So now Cannelle is eating rice with her kibble to get things moving faster and we are having to inspect her poop for signs of Popsicle stick. Also, every time she sleeps too soundly or looks groggy (which she does a lot because she naps while we're at work) we get nervous. All we can do is wait and hope for the best.

For now she seems completely fine. Her tail wags just as violently, all the time, she barks just as excitedly and loudly when we throw the ball for her, she eats just as ravenously, and she's sleeping the same amount as before.

Clarification from above: Leigh feels really bad about not holding tighter to the Popsicle stick and I think we've both learned an important lesson here: always hold on tight to the non-edible objects near the edible objects.

Also worth noting: every time that dog gets into something or we suspect an injury my heart actually breaks a little bit. I love that mutt so stinkin' much. Now if only she'd stop eating non-edible objects, tearing her nails off by digging up parts of my yard (this would actually solve two problems), and playing in cottonwood flurries (which she's allergic to), then I could sleep soundly knowing she's OK.

Summer Fun- Dipnetting on the Kenai Peninsula

It's summer in Alaska, which is generally magnificent. Leigh claims that this summer has royally sucked weather-wise. I disagree. Every summer everywhere has rainy days and, yes, we've had longer stretches of rainy or cloudy mess than I'd like, but we've also had some really impressive days too. Seeing as how I'm an active girl but not crazy active (I don't go running at 6am or pack multiple activities into a single evening, for example), being blessed with beautiful weather roughly half the time is enough to remind me that it's summer, it's Alaska, and there's fun stuff to do. 

Several weeks ago I learned about dipnetting. In short, if you are an Alaska resident with a fishing license, you can buy a big ass net and stand in the water until a salmon swims into it. Then you can haul that salmon onto the shore, smack its head, gut it, and take it home to eat it. 

The Rules: Head of household gets 25 fish per season, plus 10 additional fish for every other household member. So this year my limit was 35 fish. Next year my household limit will increase to 45 fish because we will have Baby Ruby. Every household member with a fishing license can fish, but every caught fish counts toward your household limit. 

When I learned that fellow Hollins Alum, former NYC roommate, and recent Alaska returnee Lorrie had learned to dipnet earlier this summer, I promptly invited myself on her next outing. Two Fridays ago we packed for an overnight camping trip in Kenai and headed south in Leigh's Jeep. After a beautiful 3 hour drive catching up with each other, we arrived in Kenai to gorgeous evening weather and lots of dipnetters enjoying high tide. 

Typical Dipnet Style:

On Friday evening we each caught three salmon. Not too shabby for two newbies. Around 8pm we admitted that we were both tired and hungry. So we went back to our campsite. Lorrie offered up one of her fillets for dinner. I provided black rice and mixed veggies. It was delicious and paired with malbec. Next thing we know it's 1 AM and we are drunk as skunks, so we collapse in the tent, intending to be up in time for the 7am high tide. 

                                           

My Catch.

That did NOT happen. I rolled over at 7:30 to another amazing, sunny, HOT day and a hellish hangover. We eventually made it back to the river mouth for some more fishing. But the wind was rough and the tide was coming in as actual waves. Controlling our nets was nearly impossible. At one time I'm minding my own business only to look up and see a wave crashing down on me. So I looked at Lorrie and said, "Wanna go find some breakfast?"

Saturday Morning Hangover Cure: Carbonated Sugar

We found a greasy spoon on our way out of town. Midway through a plate of caribou sausage, eggs, and hashbrowns, my headache and tummy ache really start to set in. Blah. So we got some hangover provisions (Extra Strength Tylenol and Sprite) before hitting the road. I got home in the early evening, filleted my catch, and basked in my successful attempt to bring home the protein. 

The next Friday I took the day off from work and drove to Kasilof on my own. I only caught three that day too, but I really enjoyed taking a break from my routine and discovering a new dipnetting area. So this season I brought home a total of 6 salmon, roughly 12-13 pounds of meat. I've already made some great meals (curry, salmon steaks, salmon cakes, BBQ salmon and rice) and am looking forward to having fish for most of the year. Hopefully I'll get better at filleting though.....

Dipnetting is definitely my new thing. Sadly, the season is short and I only discovered it in the last two weeks. Leigh promised to make a gift of my own dipnet gear for next season and we are already planning to spend a few weekends camping and dipnetting earlier in the season.