Last week Leigh found a picture of her and I from about 3 years ago. In the picture we are standing in front of her old Honda Accord, wearing jeans and hoodies about to leave my Dad's house in Ferrum for our place in Buffalo. It was an "end of a visit" picture. Looking at that picture now is pretty tragic: We both have long, stringy hair, ill-fitting clothes and we're both quite overweight. At that time I had shoulder-length hair. This is NOT a good look for me. It makes my face look round and doudy. Luckily today we're both in better shape, dress more carefully and have more flattering hairstyles, but I can't help but wonder if 5 years from now we'll look back on pictures from today and think "oh God, how did we go out in public like that?!?"
Anyway, it just got me thinking about how much we've changed since then, around the time I started law school. We were such kids! It was our first time living far from our parents, doing the "married life" thing, Leigh was working full time and I was trying to build a career from scratch (I guess I'm still trying to do that!). Since then we've moved a few times, traveled Europe, broken up and reunited. Today we're totally different people: more secure, more willing to demand what we want from life and from each other, more adventurous and we hold ourselves to higher standards as individuals. I feel comfortable speaking for both of us on these topics, but especially for myself.
It's also helped me to reflect on a stressful work situation I'm currently dealing with. Nothing is actually going badly at work, but certain personality clashes are making my work atmosphere pretty tense, increasing my stress levels and causing me to count the days until Sept 1 when I move up to Superior Court. Three years ago I would have lost my cool with the offending person and told them what I think of their bad behavoir, leading to an argument and possibly irreparable damage to the working relationship. Today I take the "turn the other cheek approach." If I engage a hostile person in a tense conversation it will certainly lead to an argument, which is both unnecessary and unprofessional. I'd be just as unprofessional as my counterpart and in the end we'd both look like petty children. Instead I've simply discussed my frustrations with a trusted advisor so that someone else is aware of a brewing issue and have decided to let things pass as they will without my intervention. My counterpart can continue to dig his or her grave as they see fit and I will do my best to let any jabs roll off my back while preserving my own reputation. In other words, I've learned to forego momentary comforts in exchange for maintaining a reputation of professionalism in the long term. Odds are this will not be the last difficult person I will have to work with, so it's best I learn to deal with these things now and build a good reputation amongst colleagues as someone who can work through stressful situations.
So now it's Monday and I have 40 hours this week to enjoy the company of someone who pretty much hates me. I can handle it. Really, I can. I'll just sit back and do my work and see what comes to pass. In the meantime I can take comfort in some things I've recently discovered:
- the 100k bike ride later this summer I'm going to start training for today
- the affordable 2 bedroom apartment I found that might come available this fall. It's even near one of my favorite parks, walking/cycling distance to downtown!
- Bar Convention in Fairbanks in 2 1/2 weeks. Should be a fun time
- Leigh's birthday trip to the Sea Life Center in Seward
- New social gatherings taking place around town now that it's lovely and sunny outside
I'm also really happy because Leigh is really enjoying her job. I picked her up from work last Friday, after a post-tax season social, and she said "I REALLY like it here!" She meant Anchorage in general, not just her company. Shock me! When we first moved here we weren't sure how long we'd last, but we're both really settling in nicely. Assuming I find a good job after clerkship #2, there's no reason we can't plan to stay as long as this place continues to make us both so happy. I guess sometimes big gambles really do pay off!
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