I did my best to not cry too much because I knew it made Leigh feel guilty for going home, which is silly because she has now stayed the extent of her tourist visa and she needs to be back in the US so she can work again. We both need her to work. She needs to work for her own peace of mind after a long time of being laid off and I need her to work so we can combine our earnings when I get back stateside and we can move out west.
So it makes perfect sense for her to go home and for me to stay here and finish my contract, but that doesn't change the fact that I am going to miss her. I will miss her especially everyday when I come home from work and she isn't here to ask about my day and every time I sit down for a meal by myself. I will also miss her when I am traveling solo and see something amazing or meet someone interesting because I would want to share that memory with her rather than keep it for only myself. I think it's important for people in a couple to maintain their autonomy, but certain major life experiences are just better when shared.
In most scenarios traveling is one of those experiences that is best when shared, though I have often enjoyed a trip on my own. I hope I can enjoy my upcoming travels even though I will be going solo most of the time. It's difficult for me to not feel guilty about all that I have coming up for myself, but as Leigh told me yesterday, "Emily, you're the traveler. I just go along for the ride sometimes. Visiting these places isn't important to me like it is to you." I'm glad she told me that so I can indulge in my greatest addiction. What's more, I hope I can absorb my experiences enough to relate my stories to others well enough to do justice to the place visited and the people encountered. I especially want to be able to share these things with Leigh because I know that many of my upcoming destinations are places she would like to see herself one day.
Then one day, in the future when we are real grownups with real grownup budgets, we can come back to Europe and see the places we didn't have time to see together the first time around. I know Leigh wants to see London and Berlin, I want to see Prague and we both want to visit Auschwitz one day. We also both want to visit Greece and I have certain endeavors on my Life List like hiking Mont Blanc or maybe completing other European Long-distance footpaths or Grande Rondanee hikes. Outside of Europe I would love to see Southeast Asia, especially Thailand, and India. Plus South America has such a plethora of great sights and cultures to discover that it is definitely in our future.
Speaking of future travels, as part of our move to the US west coast this summer we will be driving from Virginia to Washington State, then later traveling to Alaska to stay (final destination, unknown). Because we are driving we can stop off and see a few things and do some camping, so I think I might do some preliminary planning. It seems too soon and very silly, I know, but seeing as I am pretty homesick these days I think it might prove to be therapeutic.
The more time I spend discovering Europe and not working as a lawyer the more I think my true calling is to be a budget/alternative travel planner, tour guide operator, or running a hostel. I really love learning about new places and putting together trips for myself and for others and I'm pretty good at it too. Leigh and I have talked about opening a hostel somewhere with a cheap cost of living and a desirable lifestyle. But for now my goals are to pursue my legal career in public interest, which I'm very excited about and I'm sure will be very fulfilling, maybe branch off into a related business and who knows what else. Maybe something will come of this obsession someday so it is more than a mere hobby or maybe it will just be something that my family experiences when I drag them all over the world on holidays over the course of my lifetime.
So many maybes.... I can't help but be excited about each one of them : )
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