Missoula Recap

After a very long three days of travel, Leigh and I made it to Missoula, Montana to spend a few days with a friend and relaxing our weary bodies. We got in pretty late the first night, so the fun times started the next day. We slept, we ate good food, and we poked around this fun little city to get a feel for the place. Thursday was our first full day in Missoula and after Jescy, our dear hostess, was finished with work for the day we went to a wine tasting (yummy), drove around a little bit, the got dinner and beers at a local bar.

Leigh was still pretty knackered from our trip so she called it a night then, but I let Jescy talk me into a pub crawl of sorts and I'm pretty glad I went along with it. First we had a pitcher with dinner, then went to a preppy sports bar for another pitcher and shooting hoops, then we bounced between the local "gay" bar (which had about 3 patrons and sold $1 jello shots) and another club with good dancing. Most of the night was spent at the last place, Badlands, dancing (or I should say "dancing" in my case) to pretty good DJs. I'm sure you can tell that the above picture was taken at the end of the night because I look pretty haggard :-)

The rest of our time in Missoula was spent doing more of the same: resting up, eating good food, and checking out the local scene. On Friday we visited Jescy at her job, the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation, and ran some errands around town. Saturday morning we hit up the farmers markets, which was really fun, and later went on a short hike with Jescy, her boyfriend and their cute dogs. The view from the top was great and it felt amazing to get some real exercise after a few weeks of being lazy and sedentary.

Sunday was low key. Leigh and I found a yummy place for brunch and started packing to leave on Monday morning. Then we met our hosts in Stevensville, MT at Jescy's childhood home for a family dinner with her parents. Her dad cooked chorizo soup, her mom made salad and we soaked in the hot tub after eating our fill. What a treat! We felt so spoiled and rejuvenated after a long trip!

Tomorrow morning Leigh and I will leave for Rock Island, WA via Moscow, Idaho and Spokane along the way. I'm excited to reconnect with an old friend, my grandparents, and to start working again. I know Leigh is excited to start working again too and to get some quality time with Seattle, her favorite city, after several years of being stuck on the East Coast.

Travel through South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana

Our trip cross country has gone swimmingly so far. We have now made it to Missoula where we are spending a few days with my lovely friend Jescy, whom I met while working in Juneau and reconnected with during her trip to Europe a few months ago. We basically floored it through the vast majority of our drive West, so it feels amazing to take a few days to decompress in a fun city like Missoula.

On the way here we stopped briefly to see some sights. By briefly I mean 10 to 15 minutes tops to take a photo, stretch our legs, then be on our way again. If you are my Facebook friend you can see a few photos there. Maybe I'll post some here in the coming days, but for now just a few updates and observations with have to suffice.

Once we crossed into South Dakota we were truly in the flatlands. Leigh had never seen flat land before, being from southwest Virginia and having typically flown to the west coast, so it was very new for her. This is my third trip across country by car but my first as an adult, so it all felt very new to me also. I think I have some vague memories of similar sights from my childhood, but things just don't stick with you in the same factual manner until you are older. Though tiresome, the trip was pleasant. We didn't have any problems with our trusty Toyota Yaris Betsy and we never got lost thanks to our GPS we call Greta. Juneau the Cat was even well behaved the whole time. She slept like an angel most of the day in the car, never cried, and then prowled around our motel room at night only disturbing us with the sounds of her eating her dinner and sometimes jumping up on the bed hoping for some attention.

While driving through the heartland I realized that the Midwest is probably the most quintessentially American place in the country. When I think of the term "All American" I think of wide open spaces, the flag flying, good natured and hard-working people under the sunshine with a bootstrap mentality. However, these characteristics are not widely found on the East Coast or the West Coast. I don't intend to be judgmental, but the East Coast can be pretty snobby, uptight, and conformist. Likewise, the West Coast is really focused on social status, looks, money, and the "granola" image (without always being genuinely "granola"). These are not bad places to live or work, in fact I love many places on both costs, but neither really fulfills these Americanisms like one might assume.

The Heartland, however, seems to embody these characteristics to a T. Obviously, the wide open spaces are everywhere. In fact, once we got to Wyoming and Montana, we would often drive 3 or 4 hours between towns and then sometimes that town was a series of 10 to 15 little buildings along the side of a two-lane highway and then we'd glide back into nothingness. The fields go on for miles and the most life we saw was in the form of horses and cows (and sometimes lambs!). It was great. The flag flies everywhere in those parts, but not in an obnoxious way. As opposed to many places where it's overwhelming, seeing the flag in the Heartland is kind of beautiful and refreshing. Plus everyone we met was friendly, just living their lives with a smile. In fact, when we stopped at a tiny ice cream place for milkshakes in a tiny town in eastern Montana the sign on the door said, "Enter as Strangers, Leave as Friends." Nice, eh?

So now we're in Missoula, which is a great little city. The downtown area is made entirely of locally owned businesses, there's an abundance of yummy food, tea, coffee, etc. We have plans to poke around the town, drink some local beer, and do some hiking plus maybe take in some live music, etc. Should be fun. Probably Monday we'll go to Idaho to visit another Juneau friend of mine then on to Washington to start working.

This is going to be a great summer.

Cross Country Day 1: Southwest VA to Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Not much to blog about today, just that Leigh and I drove about 15 hours yesterday. We started from her mom's house in Grundy, VA, drove through Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois and into Iowa. Weather was nice and clear and we didn't have any major hiccups, which was nice. Just lots of time on open midwestern highways. Traffic went from typical crowded eastern traffic to almost non-existent once we reached Indiana. It was just us, a few big trucks and some RVs plus the occassional local family in a sedan or small pickup truck. Juneau the Cat was mostly well-behaved with just a few moments of stupid (like deciding to hang out in the driver's side floorboards or looking like she wanted to jump out the door when we stopped at a rest stop- ugh). Not bad at all.

Today we are driving to Rapid City, South Dakota, about a 9 hour drive from here. After yesterday it doesn't seem too bad, so we allowed ourselves to sleep in an extra hour before leaving. Well, I should get dressed so we can pack up the car.

Last Grundy Visit till Christmas

Yesterday afternoon I drove back to Grundy to meet up with Leigh on her birthday and start packing up our trusty Yaris, Betsy. My dad got really quiet and squeezed me pretty hard, my step-mom cried a little bit. Since I've never been a parent I don't really understand why just having an adult child hanging around your house and eating your food can be such a comfort for a parent, but alas they were happy to have me watching their TV and reading in their living room for several days. Leigh and I have pretty solid plans to fly back to Virginia for Christmas this year, so it won't but much longer between visits than when we lived in Buffalo, but in their minds our living in Alaska must make it seem less likely that we will return often.

Yesterday evening we celebrated Leigh's birthday very small scale. Her grandmother cooked dinner and there were two cakes to be eaten. We ate too much, mostly in the realm of sugar. We must get away from the southern US very soon so we can stop eating! *sigh* Anyway, it was a good time mostly consisting of us listening to her mom, aunt, and grandmother chattering away and telling stories. My relationship with Leigh's family is pretty tense involving mandatory visits and a series of polite questions that have about as much warmth as a job interview, but dinner with a few select members last night was quite nice. Everyone was in a good mood and nobody once said any unpleasant about us moving away. That's about as good as I could have reasonably asked for.

So I'm here now, once again surrounded by all my worldly possessions in a rather small room (can you say "claustrophobia?") with a mountain of little tasks to complete before we drive away on Monday morning. It's nearly 1pm now and I haven't actually accomplished anything! Not good. Hopefully after getting dressed and starting my laundry the spirit will strike me so Leigh and I can get a lot done today, rather than leaving it all for Sunday afternoon.

Last Day at Home

I have been back in the US for 17 days now and it still feels weird. It's getting less weird day by day, most likely because I'm able to ease into my life slowly over several weeks. Plus I'm spending the first chunk of the summer continuing to behave like a tourist by driving a lot and being completely without responsibility to any job, home, etc. It's just me, Leigh, Juneau the Cat and our crazy plans. I feel really lucky because, starting next Monday, Leigh and I get to traverse this gigantic country in my Toyota Yaris before starting jobs in one of our favorite places on Earth (Seattle), stopping to visit with friends along the way. I can't think of a better way to get reacquainted with America before starting up a more normal existence.

Since about May 9 I have been with my dad and step-mother. First Leigh and I met up with them at their beach condo, which was a nice lazy holiday, and then I returned to my childhood home with them for the better part of this week. It's been just as always with lots of time to relax, read, watch TV, play outside with cats and dogs, take little hikes, etc. I've also been running to the nearest town a lot for errands to prepare myself and my car for the trip to Seattle, so there's plenty to do. This week was a good chance for me to relax into the American version of "provincial life" again before hitting the road. I started a few new books (I'm currently reading Alice in Wonderland and In Europe by Geert Mak simultaneously, after briefly studying some French curse words last week) and Leigh and I bought a German language CD set for our drive across country. I always feel better when I have a project and small goals for myself.

Tomorrow is Leigh's 29th birthday and I will drive to her family's home in Grundy to finish packing up the car for our trip. I'm so proud of her. When I met her she was 21 years old and so innocent to the world. Since then she has finished university, a master's degree and now she's looking at getting her RN in the coming years. But those are just typical forms of measuring success. In the past 8 years I have seen her grow from a shy college student enjoying life day by day to a responsible adult with strong values and a big, warm heart from which all of her friends and family benefit endlessly. Today she is a brave, experienced young woman with an emerging adventurous spirit to compliment my frantic one and a constant source of kindness, understanding, and good humor in my life. Most of all I consider myself lucky to call her my best friend and doubly lucky to get to spend my life with her. Happy Birthday, Leigh!

On "For Now" Plans

I'm kind of amazed at how quickly my blogging has gone from frantic and filled with stories to wondering to myself if I'll ever have anything to write about again. Since coming back to the US my daily life has come to such a standstill that I find my mind wandering back to Europe several times per day. When I bring my thoughts back to reality I just get really sad and lonely feeling, in spite of now being in the presence of my Leigh and my family. So the subsequent and final emotion I am left with is guilt for not fully appreciating my family now that I have them back in my daily life.

This repatriation thing is really challenging, both logistically and on an emotional level. I know how lucky I am to have so many great opportunities in my young adult life, but that good fortune doesn't mean that I don't also mourn leaving the people and places I took such joy in knowing this year. The past few days all I can think about is how much I wish I could find a piece of Earth in which to grow my roots. Corny? Yes. True? Also yes. I have traveled a great portion of the world and have found a number of places I would be happy to call home for all the most typical reasons, but have yet to find a more soulful reason to stay anywhere. So for now my plans remain the same- Alaska for a few years, keep learning, keep growing, keep casting a wide net. Leigh and I are seriously talking about relocating to Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, etc after we tie up some loose ends in the US and after I get some experience under my belt as an attorney.

So today, after nearly a year of wandering the world, I am still making my plans in the "For Now" category of plans. Maybe it's a sign of growing up that I want to grow roots somewhere, but it's also very difficult to have that want without a clear direction or reason to choose any particular place. Clearly the place would have to be conducive to work and happiness for both Leigh and I, but that can be many places. What it really must have is a good community and people who would miss us if we were to leave once again, so life friendships that equal to family and a daily life that makes us/me feel whole. All I know is that I was happier in Europe than I have ever been in my life. The place speaks to some of my most core desires like language, culture, ease of travel, diversity of people, excellent educational system, and general sense of acceptance of different types of people. Plus living in Europe would mean we could visit Taize regularly, which is good for the soul, and raise our kids with options we never had and that I always wanted.

But this won't happen for some years and I can't plan to return even for a visit for nearly 18 months, so back to the present For Now: Leigh and I have chosen next Monday, May 24 to start driving west toward Seattle for our summer jobs. This is very exciting, though I'm afraid the drive won't be too thrilling as we're taking the most direct route to Missoula, MT to visit my friend Jescy. This means we're driving through a lot of Fly Over States (WV, Ohio, Iowa, etc) before getting to the Wild Wild West. At any rate, I'm ready to be occupied and ready for new challenges. I hope that the busier I am the easier it will be for me to remember the past year in happy ways only rather than being sad it has ended.

Week Two in US of A

After a whole week of doing NOTHING in Grundy, VA while Leigh finished up her job at the locally owned greenhouse, we headed south and east for a week at the beach with my parents. Let me clarify that it is Bike Week here in Myrtle Beach, but luckily we have only seen a handful of bikes. Let me also clarify that I don't normally enjoy vacationing at Myrtle Beach for a number of reasons (too many people, too much food, too much time in the car, too many children, just - too- much!), but my parents have a condo here and Leigh had been wanting some beach time so we decided it sounded like a good plan all around.

I can't complain too much, but I can complain just a little bit. There's a serious lack of activities for people who don't have small children, motorcycles or are not members of fraternities (can you say beer, free t-shirts, sun burns, crass jokes and bad southern accents?) on vacation with their "boys." So Leigh and I have done a fair amount of sitting around, getting sunburned, eating too much (this is kind of a big deal considering that we are finally really healthy and don't want to have a major set-back), and doing A LOT of shopping. I have a nice sunburn now, a few new, much needed, clothing items, a very full tummy and am ready to move on from here... but we still have two more days. I see a lot of put-put golf in my near future.

Next week I'm basically repeating Week 1 in US of A, except I'll be in Ferrum, VA instead of Grundy and will have access to a car and some more facilities nearby such as the pool at Ferrum College. I might even drive up to Roanoke for some reminiscing: i.e. Hollins University (even though everyone is gone for the summer now), Brewster's Icecream, downtown shopping, coffee shops and parks area, etc. I also plan to do a lot of reading, prepare for our cross-country trip and seriously take up studying French again and start on German Level 1.

Speaking of learning French, I recently purchased Talk Dirty French: Beyond Merde, a book explaining the best ways to speak French lazily, crassly, and to sound cool or at least a tiny bit like locals/French rap artists. It has everything from street lingo, rap lingo, curse words (and their etymology), bedroom speak, etc. It's fascinating on so many levels and I really wish I'd found this book BEFORE moving to France and working with teenagers, rude bus drivers, etc. It would have made my experience very different, I think. Also, the authors of the book live in Lausanne, Switzerland, where Leigh and I once changed trains. Number 11,457 Cool Things About Europe is that once you've seen a good portion of it you can sort of relate to tons of little connections like having a vague idea of the city where the authors of a random linguistic book currently live. Love it.

I'm planning to get through German Levels I and II this summer, which is a pretty good chunk of information. My strategy includes buying a Drive Time CD to listen to during the drive across country. German is a very different language from French, and even from English in some pronunciation rules, so I think it's important to hear how it sounds generally before trying to learn it from a book or tutorial on my own. Then this summer I'll use some books and online tutorials to get a good knowledge base. After that I'll see how much progress I make over the course of the next year before enrolling in a language school after my clerkship ends. In the mean time I will continue to work on my French, which I believe is at a real crossing point and I just need to keep pressing forward toward some sort of fluency. Plus I'll start going to French discussion meetings once I get to Seattle, and then in Anchorage also. Practice makes all the difference.

But for now I'm stuck in the South. I don't mind completely, it's great to see my family again and reconnect, but I think this is the first time I've realized that I don't really have a life here anymore aside from visiting my parents. Kind of sad, but it will only encourage me to press forward and try to find a place of my own to make my life. I'm ready for my Seattle Summer followed by my First Real Job in Anchorage. After Anchorage I've been given the green light from Leigh to look for everything from a full-time, full commitment job in Alaska, to a contract position in law or business or fellowship abroad or a stage or anything of the sort, really. As long as I'm working and learning and growing it's going to be just fine. The rest will sort itself out in the end.

Until then, I have more southern heat and beach time to enjoy the next few days, then lots of planning and packing....

Feeling: Odd

I've been back in the USA for less than one week now. This time last week I was boarding a flight from Fez, Morocco to Marseille before a whirlwind journey to Paris then the US. So if last week is my normal level of activity/madness in life (or maybe just a few notches above normal), then comparatively this week I am dead, or perhaps the newest member of the Undead.

Since arriving here in cosmopolitan Grundy, Virginia on Tuesday night I have accomplished very little. This is only somewhat due to laziness but mostly because I'm housebound (a girl like me needs an ambassador or official escort to comfortably walk around in this town) and have almost nothing to do but wait around. Leigh works really long days this week because things at her temp job picked up big time (hence the reason the job was hiring in the first place). It's great that she's working a lot, but it also means I get exactly 2 or 3 hours of time with her or any other human being every day. The rest of the day it's just me and my mother-in-law's five cats plus my own cat who has been living here since October. That's right, me and six cats! A girl is bound to go crazy in conditions like that!

So every day goes like this: wake up with Leigh, have breakfast with her before she goes to work. Then I putter around, check email, etc for about an hour before realizing it's not even 10:00 and I'm bored stiff. So I usually go back to bed for a few hours to make the time pass. Throughout the rest of the day I do a few chores, play with cats, read a little bit, check email compulsively (though I rarely receive any emails because everyone else I know is working or has started classes again so they have lives and are busy) and Facebook (I have become WAY too interested in the minutia of others' lives), snack a bit (I hope I don't gain back my pre-Europe weight!), watch bad TV, repeat.

Luckily today is my last day of this existence because tonight Leigh and I will drive to my dad's house in Ferrum, VA, then in the morning we will drive to Myrtle Beach to hang out with my parents and reconnect with each other. So basically after today I get Leigh back to myself for a while, then we'll head across country and really start our adventure, but this little limbo period between Europe madness and North American madness has taken its toll on me emotionally. I feel useless, listless, bored, lonely, and a whole host of other emotions just from the mere fact that last week I was busy and discovering new things every moment and this week I am a guest in someone else's home with no purpose or goals.

Plus, and I didn't realize this until yesterday, before I left for France I literally sold everything I own that didn't have a significant sentimental value. This includes furniture, all housewares, clothing, etc. All I own now includes my car, my cat, Leigh, and some items that can fit into a few boxes. I've never felt quite so homeless before, so much so that my transient life in France looks like a cozy home compared to what I have here. Yeah, my apartment came furnished and I barely owned anything, but at least it was my own space based on my own terms. I never felt trapped or purposeless, not for a single moment, not even when it became all too clear that my job was purposeless because at least my time abroad was not.

The bottom line here is that I'm feeling pretty odd, mostly because my repatriation is starting out strangely. I'm the type of girl who needs to be occupied all the time. I need a plan, a project and a challenge. Time to sit around and do nothing but think and miss the people and places I came to know and love is not good for my emotional stability. Good thing it ends tonight, so I just need to get through one more day of this and then the fun can begin! Hell, then my new life can begin!

I've gone 6,000 miles...

During the past 10 days I have traveled to and from three countries, across the Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic Ocean, by train, bus, and plane and eventually by car. My trip to Fez from Marseille logged a roundtrip total of 1,694 miles by air. This does not include the 116 miles I traveled by train from Antibes to catch my flight. The day I returned from Fez to Marseille I took a train for 411 miles to Paris, where I camped out in someone's living room to recover from these 2,221 miles of travel in less than one week. Then, on Monday, I flew 4,168 miles from Paris to Charlotte, with a stopover in Newark.

The grand total for all of this traveling was 6,389 miles. The next day Leigh drove me from Charlotte to her mother's house in Grundy, Virginia: another 239 miles. On Saturday we are driving 180 miles to my father's house and on Sunday we are driving another 276 miles to Myrtle Beach to join my parents at their beach condo for a week of relaxation and catching up with the parents. Then, at the beginning of June, we will drive from Virginia to Washington State to start our jobs with my grandparents. This will be at least 2,800 miles, not including any side trips we take to Yellowstone, Missoula, Big Sky, and Rock Island before reaching Seattle. It's a lot of travel and can be both stressful and expensive, but its experiences like these that make my life so interesting and so blessed, so it's worth it. Plus, since landing in Charlotte, I know I will share every mile of it with my best friend and favorite person.

So after some days here in the sleepy town of Grundy, which I will spend organizing my stuff, doing my laundry, and reconnecting with our cat/first born child, Leigh and I will go on vacation with my parents to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. My dad teased me last week that the last thing I need is another vacation, but I contend that backpacking through Europe (often solo) is a very different experience than laying on a beach with one's family. Traveling Europe as a young person is great fun, but also education and sometimes a lot of work. Family vacations are true vacations involving a lot of sleeping, chatting, relaxing activities and eating. Plus I get to share this vacation with the people I love, rather than discovering something new all by myself as I have done over the past 7 months. I haven't seen my father or step-mother since the end of September, so it will be really great to spend several days with them, enjoying some real southern heat, and eating good food that I will surely regret later when I have to burn off the extra calories.

Well, I should check on my laundry and try to come up with something to cook for dinner that Leigh might actually enjoy (have I mentioned recently that I'm not a great cook? Poor Leigh...).

Coming to America

Well, "Going to America," but that's not so catchy is it?

I've been in Paris for two days and have hardly done a thing. I'm so exhausted from almost an entire month of traveling, hauling my stuff around, and sleeping in a different place (notice I don't say "bed" because it's often floors and couches) every few nights. I was so lucky to find a wonderful couch surfing hostess here. The apartment is so nice and comfortable and my hostess doesn't mind that I mostly just want to relax and repack my suitcase a few times before going to the airport on Monday morning.

Yesterday I literally left the house for only about an hour to get some groceries at Super U (and some chocolate to take home to family), then came back to the apartment to watch a movie and veg out. It may seem like a waste of a day in Paris, but I've spent a fair amount of time here over the past few months and really just needed a day of doing almost nothing. Today I attended the American Church in Paris, which was really nice. The building is beautiful and there was a guest choir visiting from the UK. They were fantastic! Ironically most of the permanent staff (pastor, youth pastor, etc) were in Stockholm for an international pastor's conference this weekend with my friend Kate, who has been interning at the American Church in Berlin this year. I chatted with her online last night and we thought the coincidence was pretty interesting.

After church I had planned to visit the Louvre, but of course the line to get in was wrapped through two courtyards, plus it was raining off and on. There is no way I was going to spend several hours waiting in line in the rain so I could walk around a massive art museum. Instead I decided to wander around the 1st arrondissement and wherever my feet took me. It was kind of nice to just enjoy the city without a plan to speak of. Aside from taking in a city that always surprises me with its charm, my only accomplishment was finding a very reasonably priced ham and cheese crepe and enjoying it by the Seine. Aside from being rained on periodically, it was a nice afternoon.

Tonight I need to do a final once-over with my luggage and prepare for a very early trek to Charles De Gaulle Airport in the morning. My flight leaves Paris at 10:00 and lands in Newark at 12:00 (so that's about 8 hours in the air- fun!), then I have a SIX HOUR LAYOVER in Newark before flying to Charlotte, where I will see Leigh for the first time since January! It's amazing, only two weeks ago I was worried that I would not be ready to go back to America, that I would sully my return by being unhappy to leave Europe. While it's still true that I love Europe and hope to live here on a more permanent basis one day, I am ready to see my family, some old friends, my cat, my car and some familiar sights... at least for a while.

Paris (again)

Last night I arrived in Paris for my third visit since moving to Europe. Of course, I flew into Paris in October but only saw the airport, so that hardly counts! Anyway, I am flying out of Paris on Monday, but decided to make the trip up here with all my stuff a bit less stressful by coming a few days early, seeing some sights, and then leaving for the airport early Monday morning.

Yesterday was insane, but worked out just fine. I woke up early in Fez, Morocco and took a taxi to the airport. After a lot of waiting around (the airport wasn't really even open until 9am and security wouldn't let people through until 9:30!) I got on my plane and was in Marseille by 15:30. Then I took a shuttle bus to downtown Marseille and a metro to my friend Becky's apartment, who was kind enough to keep my massive suitcase and my smaller carry-on suitcase while I was on holiday. Becky, who had her 21st birthday yesterday, fed me a piece of pie and saw me off again within an hour of my arrival at her place. I took my large pack, giant suitcase and small suitcase through the metro (very carefully) to the train station to catch my TGV to Paris. Then I could relax a bit. Upon arrival in Paris I allowed myself to splurge on a 22 euro taxi ride to the apartment where I'm staying this weekend. I couldn't imagine trying to carry my suitcases up the metro stairs at 23:30!

Anyway, that was my very long day of traveling, carrying heavy stuff and spending money on transportation. I'm glad it's over. I'm couch surfing in Paris this weekend and my hostess is absolutely wonderful. She's about my age, maybe a few years older, works in advertising, and lives in a beautiful little apartment in the 17th arrondissement with a roommate whom I have yet to meet. She even provided me with a custom-made map and my own key so I can come and go as I like while I'm here. I couldn't have dreamed for a better housing situation this weekend, it's really a perfect way to relax a bit and feel comfortable after so much traveling and confusion.

Today is May Day in France, so I expect most things will be closed. However, I will still try to see and do some things I did not see last time. I just read about a park called Bois de Boulogne, near the University of Paris Dauphine, and I think I will go check it out because it will be open all the time. If that gets dull I'll just take a walk or maybe sit in a cafe for a bit. Hopefully I can find an English bookstore that is open today because I have nothing to read for my plane home on Monday. It would also be helpful to find a post office that is open, but even in the US (where we work ourselves to death) the post office is closed on public holidays, so I'm not holding my breath.

Giving Fez a Chance

Today I was determined to have a good day. I woke up really early with tons of energy, waiting until 9am when breakfast is served here at the Riad (why so late? I have no idea), ate and headed out the door armed with two maps, spending money, and my camera.

I got so lost. Really, really lost. I am staying in a neighborhood called Batha, which is on the edge of the Medina, so I can either go into the Medina (where all the most famous sights and shopping are) or go the wrong direction and end up in Fez-el-Jadid, the former Jewish neighborhood (not a bad thing, just confusing). Guess which direction I went? And guess who convinced herself for probably two hours of walking around that she was, in fact, in the Medina but couldn't figure out the street names because they are written in Arabic?

Yeah, me.

The way I found out I was in the wrong neighborhood was interesting. I walked up and down the same three or four streets about 5 or 6 times, exhausted and sweating and frustrated. I was being called a lot of things, mostly acceptable but obnoxious versions of "mademoiselle" and some people would see me and say something snide about the French (in French), stared at (PS: covering my hair makes me more obvious), etc. Then an older man saw me and either pegged me for a tourist or Jewish and pointed to the left saying "Synagogue that way!"

What Synagogue? So I headed his word and found a Synagogue and also a sign written in French, Thank God. Then I flipped to my bigger map and found that I was in the wrong neighborhood.

After CAREFULLY retracing my steps I found my way to the Medina, then I was really harassed. This time it was everything from offers to show me around, being spoken to in French (everything from "bonjour, ca va" to "si belle!" to "bienvenue." I don't remember everything, but it was pretty daunting). The ones who spoke English were worse. A young man followed me for a few minutes trying to speak to me. I ignored him and he said, "Don't be so stuck up, I just want to show you around!" Not nice. Anyway, a random guy saw me and pointed to the right saying "Medina, that way!" I said, I didn't want a tour guide and he said "I'm not a guide, just helping." That was rare that day, so I said thanks and wound up on a big shopping market area and actually ran into the Riad where my friend Vanessa stayed and her favorite restaurant in Fez. It felt good to see something I had heard of.

Things started getting fun then. I haggled (not very well) in French and bought lots of gifts for people back home. I have a short list started for tomorrow too because I forgot some small things I wanted to look at (and my bags were getting heavy). It was nice to be around people who weren't openly preying on me, most of the time. Some shop owners would offer to let me come in and look and when I just kept walking they would get a little annoyed and call after me. Seriously, that doesn't make me want to buy from you. Anyway, I did pretty well and started having fun.

The best thing that happened to me today was meeting Abdul. For the past two days I have started seeing young Moroccan men as predators. They cat call, follow me around, try to sell me things, and that's the tame ones. I was getting really annoyed. Then I walked by Abdul's textile shop. He asked if I wanted to see how the rugs are made. I told him I couldn't take rugs home with me because I just brought a backpack and he said (in English), "No problem. I'll just show you and we'll chat a bit."

I was apprehensive, but decided to go with it fully prepared to bolt if needed. He showed me the rug/textile machine they use (it's an old loom) and took me to see their storage room/workshop area (not as sketchy as it sounds) where his cousin was installing painted ceiling decorations for a new show room. He showed off their bedspreads, rugs, etc and gave me some tea. I said they were beautiful, but unfortunately I just couldn't buy anything that big. I did, however, notice a few scarves that were gorgeous and bought two as gifts. He made a nice price for me when I told him I only had 90 dirham left to spend today, and then we got to talking and he and his coworker said "are you hungry?"

About three hours after I had gone to see the textiles I emerged fed (fish tangine and a huge glass bottle of Coke), "tea-ed," and renamed "Fatima" (sister, which one of the guys called me the whole time). Plus I was feeling so much better about my time here.

Tomorrow I have been invited to meet with them again so they can show me to the real hammam, find me a "madame" to help with the process, and maybe go see some sights if it's still light out after their shop closes. This way I will get a Moroccan price and an authentic experience, rather than going to one that is basically a spa for tourists. Normally I would be very apprehensive about this, but I mentioned to them how vulnerable I felt traveling alone as a woman and they said several things that put me at ease. First, they said men who prey on women like that are not Muslims, they are animals and they are sick while I am a nice girl that "your education and your religion shows through your face and it is beautiful." This was the first time I'd been called beautiful in Morocco without it making me feel dirty.

Then the older of the two compared these men with terrorists, "but terrorists of a different type." After two days of keeping my guard up and feeling nervous every time a man looks at me, I completely understand what he means. They also said that when a man looks at a woman he should regard her as he would his sister (hence my new name) or his mother until they are married. They also teased me that after I leave the hammam boys would follow me everywhere, but that in life you only need one husband or one wife. To this I said, "when I'm on holiday I don't need any boys following me, just good friends." They agreed. At one point in our visit there was a call to prayer and my new friends excused themselves to pray in the next room. It wasn't a big deal, just a little break in their day.

Amazing- and just to prove that kindness is good for business, I have decided to go back tomorrow also to buy some of their beautiful silk scarves. They fed me so well this afternoon that I didn't spend a penny on food today, so I am free to spend some money in their shop and to bring some of their amazing crafts home to share with others.

This is exactly what I needed today.

Fes, Maroc/Fez, Morocco

After a whirlwind packing up and finding my way to Marseille on Sunday I woke early Monday morning to catch my flight to Fez. Amazingly nothing went wrong, even flying RyanAir. I landed in Fez, went through immigration with no trouble and took a taxi by myself (which cost about 12 euros, just as I had read online. Thank God for rare travel instances when things like taxis really do cost what they should). I haven't decided yet, but if I have time and feel bold enough I might take the airport bus back on Friday because it's only about 2 euros, but the bus is also only once per hour and doesn't really run on a set schedule. If I have extra Dirhams I may as well use them I guess and have the security of knowing I can catch the taxi 2 blocks from my Riad and step out at the airport with plenty of time.

Anyway, I found my Riad easily because the taxi driver handed me off to a university student to walk me into the Medina (and he did NOT expect to be tipped, amazing! I suppose he gets a small cut of the taxi fare). I snoozed for a bit, got settled then took myself to a very elaborate (and kind of pricey) supper nearby. The food was yummy and the service was great, but the whole time I was wishing I had a dinner companion to enjoy the experience with me. I think dining is the one part of traveling solo that is always kind of a bummer, everything else can be tweaked so it's fun on your own but food should always be shared.

On my way back to my Riad last night I somehow managed to get turned around. Keep in mind I literally walked 3-5 blocks away from my Riad and I'm normally pretty talented with navigating cities. A guy wearing an orange vest with a nightstick (neighborhood watch?) asked around for me and we found the place after about 10 minutes of searching. He then said "money?" I gave him the equivalent of 2 euros, the smallest bill in my pocket. The audacity of this tipping business is so strange to me. Not that I mind too much, it wasn't expensive, but the expectation seems so rude. In most places that rely heavily on tourism you'll be hit up for money in any number of more official ways, but generally people in uniforms and working at businesses will be at least begrudgingly helpful because they know tourists are important to their local economies.... but I suppose in their minds I owe them something because I come from a wealthier country. Oh well, that's life and it's part of the experience. I will just have to make greater efforts to find my own way.

Anyway, I slept A LOT last night and today I plan to take my handy Fez City Guide and find my way to the markets and major tourist attractions. If I can manage to see the highlights of the Medina today I'll be pretty pleased. That will free up tomorrow and Thursday for less pressing experiences like visiting a hammam or a side trip to Meknes. In spite of my culture shock and suddenly feeling very white and female (i.e. vulnerable because I'm easily noticed), I am determined to enjoy my days here and make it a good experience. This may mean I have to change myself a bit for the next few days including covering my hair (I'm going to see if wearing a scarf and sunglasses gets me fewer comments like, "hellooo? ca va????" from young boys and old men). I think I will also find this place called Cafe Clock, an English owned cafe near the most famous part of the Medina, in hopes of meeting some other travelers and maybe having someone to walk around with. It can't hurt to poke around, I guess.

OK, I'm starving so I should go seek out my breakfast....

Marseille Part 2

Day 1 of my final insane travel plans began with more packing, checking out of my dorm at the CIV, and hauling my 100+ pounds of personal belongings to the school gates. From there I said my goodbyes to my Canadian Counterpart, who will be dutifully finishing out her final week at her three schools, and was transported to the Antibes train station by one of our favorite teachers from this year.

My really excellent day began with said teacher giving me a farewell card, complete with a postcard of a Chagall painting that she said reminds her of me. The painting is entitled La Lutte de Jacob et de l'Ange (The Wrestling of Jacob and the Angel). In the Bible, this story is about Jacob's return to Canaan where he was told that his brother Esau would meet him with an army of 400 men. Assuming the worst, Jacob prayed to God for help and sent gifts of cattle ahead to his brother. One night during his journey Jacob sent his family back across a river to retrieve their possessions and was left alone in communion with God. During the night an angel appeared to Jacob and they wrestled until daylight. Jacob was not defeated, so the Angel touched his thigh giving him a limp. Still Jacob demanded a blessing from the angel, and so the angel changed Jacob's name to mean "one who has prevailed with God." Jacob then renamed the place of this struggle saying, "I have seen God face to face and lived."

The teacher did not tell me why this painting reminded her of me, nor did she tell me the story. Being a Christian who has hardly read the Bible I had to Wiki it (I do intend to better educate myself on these topics soon). The story is interesting and I might read somethings into the gift, but I'm afraid those interpretations might be giving me too much credit. I think this story might require some additional study and reflection. The teacher also gave me part of a note written in French by a French Christian leader. I am still deciphering it for complete understanding, but so far it seems to be very inspirational calling Christians to lead complete, inclusive lives where they are satisfied with themselves and their time on Earth, thus making us all better members of the world community. Maybe I'm totally off the mark, I'll have to get back to you on this one.

After an uneventful train ride to Marseille I struggled through the Gare de St. Charles and the metro system with my three heavy bags and made it safely to my friend Becky's house. She was entertaining a fellow assistant from Seattle and soon another assistant from London popped over. We eventually went to see Alice in Wonderland, which was delightful, and I was very happy to be in good company.

In all an excellent day. Pretty soon I need to find my way to dreamland, however, as I have a rather early flight in the morning to FEZ! So exciting, so nerve-wracking! But I've heard so many stories of good travel experiences in Morocco, so overall I'm pretty pumped about this trip. As long as I can get to my Riad unscathed I think I will be just fine.

Until then, a bientot and wish me bon courage!

Double Post

So yeah, I just posted something a few hours ago. I may seem a little bit pathetic, but please keep in mind that I'm living in a lycee dormitory for a few days with almost nothing to do. At this moment I am waiting for Leigh to get home from work so we can chat while my computer battery lasts. For some reason the outlets in my room short out every time I plug my laptop in, so I have to charge it sometime during the day and hope the battery lasts as long as necessary. My other option is to camp out in the kitchen of this building with the computer plugged in to charge it while I sit on the countertop because there is no seating, which isn't terribly comfortable.

Anyway, I managed to pack all my stuff into my suitcases and am now just kind of waiting around until the hauling of my stuff around France must begin. Not looking forward to that, but my rewards are plenty, so I will deal with it moment by moment. That was a big job and it was after a full day of errands and such, so I feel pretty accomplished today. I even met with my bank to get instructions to transfer my euros to dollars in the US. The woman gave me oral instructions rapidly and answered my questions in great detail. I understood everything she was telling me even if I didn't catch and process every word. 7 months ago this situation would have had me fighting back tears or at least asking for someone to translate. Progress? Yes, perhaps a bit. I am still learning. One day soonish I would like to have a solid handle on French and conversational German. This will take work, but what is life without a self-improvement project or two in the works?

For the past week or so I have been living in denial about my leaving Europe. Then today it really hit me how soon I am going home. Don't get me wrong, I miss my family and am I so excited about the opportunities I have awaiting me, but I can't help but feel quite sad if not a bit depressed about repatriating. I feel like I just got settled, started to get into the rhythm of life here and just now started making real connections with people.

My greatest fear is that I won't be able to continue the inner journey I started here after leaving the Continent. What if I forget all that I learned about the world and myself? What if I go back to being the same person I was before I learned these things? What if my life doesn't bring me back here to continue exploring this Old World that I have come to love so much? What if the people I have met, and come to both admire and care for forget me entirely? What if wanting to stay connected just isn't tangible enough for reality?

The thing is that I know if I make the time and space for something in my life then I can have it. If I am willing to make some sacrifices then I can certainly return to Europe on a semi-regular basis for any number of reasons to continue what I have begun. There's typical trips, cultural exchanges, religious exchanges, Taize, language schools, and working abroad in any number of capacities. For some reason I have wanted to work abroad all my life at various stages, then the reality of America and immigration set in and I forgot about this desire. It seems it has come full circle after having a taste of life outside of our colossal America and, in my experience, it is best to follow one's instincts in all matters so important as life-altering decisions.

I have to remind myself that this is like every other challenge I have faced in my life- I just have to face it head-on and remember how important it is to me. I am so excited to start my adult life, my career, to try out Alaska full time and see how it goes. I have a lot of wonderful opportunities ahead in the next 18 months. After that, who knows? At this point I'm prepared to consider that I might have to take another [shorter] gap between real jobs if the market still sucks in the fall of 2011, or maybe look outside of Alaska if I can't find something there that will teach me enough quickly enough. I must remain flexible, always, and never settle for anything less than an opportunity that is both exciting and educational (with the sacrifice often being lack of a high salary).

The bottom line is that, while I'm so sad to be leaving now, I am also very excited about my quickly approaching future and I have so much life and career left to experience, both at home and abroad.